Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Last Post...

Yes...you heard it right...this is my last post...but wait, I don't like to disappoint you either. This is just the last post on this blog. I have moved on...and hence a new blog...All the posts from this blog and couple of others blogs have been imported to my new blog. It's more than just movies, I have put some poetry written by me...some travelogues, book reviews, issues that make me think and a lot more. Things are just starting to catch up with reality and as I grow up, I guess I end up thinking a lot more these days. Here's the address of my new blog....titled..."Life of Something Like It."
New Blog: http://hemanth-cr.blogspot.com/
For the benifit of those who have been reading this blog continuously, there's a link on the new blog which lists posts only on movies...
Movie Link: http://hemanth-cr.blogspot.com/search/label/Poetry
Hope, you will continue supporting and encouraging me as you have over the past year. As we step into a new year...it promises to be one hell of a roller coaster. Looking at the brighter side of things...things will just start getting bigger and better. And as a great author puts it...Everything around us can be summarized in three words..."Life Goes On".
Signing Off,
Hemanth

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Where were you?

Far across a land, I had never been to,

There was a treasure which was a legend.

Some said it was the creation of God,

And others that it was the Holy Grail of our times.


Deep in the dungeon of my life I was trapped,

Where the only concern was to be or not to be,

Some said the only way to break free was a quest,

And others opined that it would be foolish to go on a wild goose chase.


Then one day, I saw a moon kissing the star,

It left me wondering how the moon touched the star.

And it struck me that life’s just an illusion,

Sometimes it lets you walk on water,

And sometimes sucks you deep within.


I had resolved that the only way out of this trap was a quest,

To a land far away that existed only in legends and in my dreams.

I ran…ran and ran…to a place where earth touched the sky.

But that never came so I kept running.


I asked someone if they knew about the treasure,

And they told me a secret that none had known before.

One after the other the secrets kept tumbling out,

And what was once a legend was now a princess who was wilting with seasons.


When the palace where you were was insight,

There were no dragons and fires to scare me away…

Just a single long tunnel to across,

And I saw you on the other end of it…waiting for someone.


All I had to do was to cross the tunnel,

But little did I realize that those would be the most difficult steps I would take!

The demons of my past kept pulling me behind,

But that wouldn’t stop me going towards my glory of my future…inch by inch.


And today after all these years, I stand before you,

And wonder if I could touch you,

I couldn’t move an inch further because I was blinded,

Blinded by a beauty that was only in legends…a beauty which was a creation of God!

I shed a drop of tear out of happiness,

And something happened…something no one had told me before.


The flowers around bloom as if it was spring,

The lamps lit all by themselves and slowly darkness vanished…

As I stood agape to what had happened around, I see you lifting your face,

And there it was….the smile!


So, then we hold our hands and look into your eyes,

The pearls which had me rolling towards life,

And ask…”Where were you when the moon kissed the star?”

And you reply…”I was wondering how did the star touch the moon?”

And I smile as I lay my arms around you and gaze at the moon and the star kissing each other…again!

Monday, May 26, 2008

Wag the Dog!

For someone, who looks up to the world of cinema as a form of liberation, an expression of a feeling so profound which can move you to tears and inspire, a form of art which is as beautiful as music and painting, there’s one thing going on in my mind…What is wrong with the new generation of film makers who have a reputation of churning out blockbuster movies? I have almost given up on Hindi flicks, except maybe for some few directors and actors whom I believe have some sense left in them to make a good cinema. It’s been ages since I have seen a movie which made me belief that Hindi movies can make the difference in someone’s perception of what Cinema should be like (perhaps, my last favourite was “Taare Zameen Par”). And Hollywood keeps my hope alive…but that’s not what I am worrying about.

The contention here is about the Telugu Film Industry a.k.a Tollywood. It's today one of the biggest regional language film Industry, maybe only second to Hindi. There was a time, when almost every other movie had something to look upto. Flicks those were true to their plots which are quite unlike the today’s genre of potpourris of God knows what all, those flicks of the golden era are definitely a thing of the past. What we see today, is producers and directors simply catering to the needs (read as demands) of the audience. Well, obviously a question arises at this point…is it detrimental to do something like that? It’s a very subjective point of view, but what is interesting to see is that, there seems to be a general opinion among my generation that there is something missing…and that is the “Awesomeness” which we experience sometime or the other while watching a good flick. Perhaps it wouldn’t take too much time in understanding such trite plots and over the top sentiments! To sum it up it’s almost like everyone’s is induced to “Lemon Law” the flick right after 10 mins into the plot (Inspired from Barney’s Law from the sitcom “How I Met Your Mother”)!!!...
What’s even more flabbergasting to see is how film makers boast about the production values and hell a lot of things like acting, songs, characterization and yada..yada. After going through some grueling hours in PVR, Prasads, IMAX over the past several months sitting through some of the so called Blockbusters…I can only show pity on me. For one, I don’t really know why I keep going week after week and spending a fortune on something like that…maybe I still have some hope left in me that someday, someone would surprise me with a good flick! I am having serious thoughts about watching a flick just for the reputation that the director commends or those who constitute my favourite protagonists. I think, I can only blame the unknown for all this, can’t really point out any particular person in the industry….but atleast I hope someday someone would read this earnest plea of this movie buff…
1. For Heaven’s sake, somebody move away from 6 songs, 5 fights (or whatever the number maybe), comedy and sentiment which look terribly out of place! I can’t help to not observe this phenomenon that certain scenes of comedy and sentiment in most of the plots are shoved in to please certain sections of the audience.
2. The budding directors of today’s era who have a great talent to make it big, could also fiddle with the idea of making the length of the movie to just 90 or 100 minutes. It not only adds effect but also saves time for almost everyone. It’s very difficult to please all sections of the audience all at the same time and if not handled properly the results are there to see in zillion movies around.
3. And someone please….please chop off the so called “item songs”! It’s been sometime since it only adds to the burden of having to withstand all this…of course they do the job of pulling the crowd and giving great publicity, but come to think of it, we are on the verge of creating another Jayamalini and Jyothilaxmi today. If the producers believe that people want change everytime and that’s why zillion new female leads are introduced, then why not even in the “Item Songs” front??!
4. I really don’t know what constitutes a blockbuster, but if it’s just money which makes or breaks a flick, then how do you fit good cinema into the bill?! (My definition of a good cinema is something which can be applaudable sincerely from the bottom of your heart. And something which you can watch over and over and over again….for the overall aura which the flick creates and not just because it’s the flick of your favourite actors/actresses). So, please give art a chance to find its place! It’s rather pleasing to watch a flick which you feel difficult to understand or something which is different from the rest, than to watch something which makes you feel all the more stupid! (Wouldn’t you agree on that?!)
5. You gotta give credit...quite literally! Credit to the countless flicked tunes, scenes, even plots! Just a simple mention of this at the end of the movie or in interviews would give credibility to the flick, in the sense that atleast those who have seen the original would want to check out how the Tollywood's take on it is! Right now, the situation is that, instead of listening to the tunes or watching the film, atleast the me is trying to remember the original version...(one of the recent blockbuster reminded me of 5 different movies! Of course a lot many of you might have observed it too).

To conclude this monologue which I have been trying to frame in my mind, I do realize that I am not the only one living around to watch movies, and also it’s not me on whom the outcome of the flick depends on. But an idea, a notion is as immortal as life itself. Right from the moment it germinates in someone’s dream it takes an enormous form and someone is bound to put some life into it. It’s bound to have a domino effect and one day finally changing into a conclusive action. If only, we are lucky enough to see some of this change in the near future…. Wouldn’t you agree that one thing inspires the other? In fact that’s what makes us so progressive. Few days ago, one of the directors of the film Industry wrote an open letter in one of the websites that the film makers are entirely aware of what they are doing, and that there’s no point in voicing opinions which usually doesn’t result in anything. Well, he has a point with what he says. But I am of this staunch opinion that any phenomenon will not last forever. There will be a day when the dog will no longer wag the tail, instead it will be the tail which will wag the dog!

The history of Tollywood like that of Bollywood has been undergoing a sort of cycle every 10-15 years. From showcasing the early years of Independence, then to the social revolution, added to this a lot of Family Drama with plots revolving around the bonding within the family, and finally to that of Love and Action. I am not sure if we are still in the era of Love and Action, it certainly seems so, but nowadays with things changing faster than ever, I can see a paradigm shift soon in the offing.Who takes the first step forward remains to be seen! Someone’s gotta understand that whatever has happened so far and what’s been going on, will one day push us into a feeling of void, if it continues. A hunger for something fulfilling will emerge and it’s bound to spread like a plague, because we no longer live in a society where people are alienated from one another. If everyone thinks that the purpose of films is to just entertain, then it does have a serious competition from countless other things. My humble request as I get ready for the upcoming releases would be, maybe you cannot escape the Murphy’s Law, but you can definitely try not to be Lemon Law’ed.
Suit Up! No...No...That should be “Think Suit Up!“

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

When NEWS is not from N.E.W.S....

"Earth has only 4 more years left!" "Khali shows his muscles and 100people faint!" " yet another twist in the "slapgate" scandal" Breaking News:-"Cheerleaders are worse than Bar Dancers" "Thousands line up in streets to see the XYZ of Bollywood…"….Blah…blah…blah…blah…blah.
No, am not trying to promote the self-proclaimed audacity of "anti-blah-blah channel"; but news like this is a common sight. Almost 24 hours a day some or the other channel in around 200 channels that we have in India indulge in the utter stupendous nonsensical stupidity!If you are wondering what exactly I am referring to, then please switch on to a leading Hindi news channel which has the "distinction"of being the best for the past several years. (I have serious doubts on how they proclaim themselves as the best, although I would save that discussion for another day.) The latest fad, or should I call"Breaking News" is that the Earth will come to an end on 21stDecember, 2012. I have no problem when the world is coming to an end,but the oddity in this news is the way things are generated and thesheer impulsiveness of the host in coming to almost over the topbizarre conclusions. Coming back to this report, according to theanalysis of the drawings/paintings found in North America by the erstwhile Mayans claims that the Earth will come to an end in another 4 years.(the first loophole in this happened to be the way, the Mexican pyramids were located while telecasting them in this channel, I could never in my dreams think that Mayans were somewhere close to Hudsonriver!!! Maybe they did...Have to google it sometime..:) ) The then Mayan astrologists had predicted that the age of the present sun is about 5000 odd years and that it will come to an end in 2012 which will then give rise to a new civilization. Sounds like the story of "Stargate", like movies to me….:) . Another twist in the story is that, this is the 5th Sun that we have in our solar system.
To prove this already bizarre finding, the channel brings in a current age astronomer (or was he an Astrologer!??) . I think, he must have been in a fix to keep his version in tandem with the channels' content. And he came up with evenbizarre version of the "Judgment Day". According to him, our solar system will pretty close to the centre of our Milky Way Galaxy and since there is a black hole in the centre, everything is bound to be sucked in. WTF!!!!...This surely is a reason for us to be worried about….but will sense prevail on humanity (read as people who religiously follow the content of this channel) remains to be seen. I mean, someone give this chap and the channel a "NOBELest Prize" for making the discovery of a lifetime. WTF was NASA or ESA doing if we are going to have such a calamity sometime soon. Or is it possiblethat the superpowers have kept mum on this issue to avoid any possible chaos??
Possibly a good example of sensationalism and Yellow Journalism, the channel can be credited with some of the most bizarre things explainedwith all the possible intricacies on primetime. Hold on now, the so called "anti- blah-blah" channel is also not far behind. A partner in crime, it is a haven for page-3 kinda stories (and again debating that likes of page-3 is bringing immorality and destroying the Indian"sanskriti"..) and creating icons out of nothing. Take the WWE wrestler for example, almost an hour or two is dedicated for himeveryday, and the channels just seem to be following him day and night! Shouldn't be a problem, when you can withstand the likes of Sawants, Khans hogging the entire limelight on TV, but is it that important to explain what he eats, wears, thinks, does…..crap!Somebody drive sense to people who think this is worthy enough, but I am nobody to blame or pass a judgment. It's again a moral debate todebate what's good and what's not? But my humble request is to thinkbefore putting the content on TV, there might be zillion better thingsthat could be shown on TV. The same goes on for zillion Regional Channels....it's better to stop transmission of the channel than to rather fill it with crappiest of things...but again am nobody to pass on a judgement. Which is why I switch on to a movie channel everytime such things are highlighted as "BREAKING NEWS"....:-P

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

On the Rocks...

Over the past few days, I had been wondering if I could get a good long break from work. And thanks to the timely coincidence of my completion of training, along with Holi, Good Friday, my prayers had been answered. I was finally out of the hullabaloo of having to run along with everyone and try to prove that you are still worth it to stick to your work every single day on some or the other pretext. A friend of mine from college, Harsha informed me that he was planning a weekend trip to Hampi and asked if I could join him and others who were planning to go. This buddy had quite a few things to rave about from his previous trip to the west coast few months ago, so I thought, maybe I should tag along with him….it all sounded so exciting. A group travelling to a place where most of us hadn’t been to before, on the banks of a river and a haven for foreigners who are on a trip across India. And I was game for it….

Finally on the D-day, 5 of us ended up travelling to Hampi, two of us from Bangalore and the rest from Hyderabad. This post is a chronicle of our journey to the city of Victory which over the years has been christened as City of Ruins….Hampi.


March 22, 2008

Morning: 6:00 AM

Me and Arun reached the town of Hospet which was 13 kms away from Hampi. After 5 months in Hyderabad, and 5 months in Bangalore, this small town looked like some other world!...so serene atleast in those wee hours. After 30 minutes, we got the first bus to Hampi and 2 kms away from Hospet we realized that we left behind the umbrella behind in the bus stand at Hospet, so it was later decided that my friend would go back to get that. The journey to Hampi was quite a smooth one…it literally reminded me of my village, those small roads, fields on either sides with occasional small little canals and the aroma of the dusk and the firewood. It makes one feel as if this was such an important thing that lot many of us have been missing for a long time!....

After about 8 kms from Hampi, the detour to Hampi starts and after couple of villages and lot of Plantain plantations you get the first glimpse of huge boulders….and then their count keeps on increasing. Finally, after almost 30 mins of drive from Hospet in the bus, we reached Hampi. Have to say some impressive structures greet you at the entrance of the town, among them are the Krishna and the Ganesha Temple. And that was my first impression of the place….quite difficult to understand the beauty of it! Should we look at it that it’s still standing even after 500 years of negligence…or appreciate the beauty and glory that once stood there….I was sure that I wouldn’t get answer to this question and ended up asking myself the same thing more than few times.

7:15 AM… (A little later after Arun went back to Hospet)

“Hello….Rooms sir, 80 rupees, 100 Rs, 120 Rs…rooms sir, just 2 mins walk from here” a tout was screaming (or should I rather say doing his part of the job) at a foreigner. Am pretty sure this sight of an Indian shouting at him would have knocked him out, the gentleman regained his senses and replied with a simple smile that he knows where he has to go. That’s when he took out his guide cum encyclopedia….Lonely Planet’s guide to India!!!....This was like a bible, a must in the hands of every foreigner who was laying his foot there (ahh…someone really said it right. Books are indeed your best friends!) And over the next 1 hour, found out that the number of foreign travelers to this place out number the Indians by a huge margin. I had never been to such a place, so was kinda expecting this one to be quite different from any of the ones that I had seen or been to before.

8:30 AM:

Arun comes back to Hampi along with his ‘lucky’ umbrella. We found out where our friends from Hyderabad, Ranga and Harsha were and set out in that direction. The thing with Hampi is, you can never really understand it’s beauty unless you explore it completely. One side it’s full of boulders, almost giving the entire place a barren look and immediately beyond those boulders in the Thungabhadra river surrounding which are beautiful agricultural fields. And Hampi as a whole is divided by this river. In the main town we have the Virupaksha Temple (Lord Shiva’s temple dating back to the 7th Century A.D, the main deity of the Vijayanagara Empire), the Vittala temple, monolithic bull , the main ruins and loads of places to eat and shop. And the other part of the town is cut across by the river and is aptly called the Hampi Island or The Other side of River. This part has lot of guest houses and few houses for the tourists to stay over for sometime. After the 2 minute boat ride to the Island, we guys met each other at this serene place named…”The Goan Corner”. Quite a popular spot for the foreigners, this place is perhaps neglected by many because of its distance from the main river, but after going to this place, you will realize that the same distance works out in its favour!!! A perfect get away from a busy life, this place had all the basic amenities to spend a memorable holiday. We guys were again perhaps the only Indians in that corner, but thanks to a pervious visit by a couple of us, we were known faces there! And since it being the eve of Holi, everyone was game for putting some enthu…we guys joined the celebration along with our fellow tourists [;)]...(hehehe……evil grin!!..:P)

11:00 AM

Our first visit around Hampi kicked off on a moped towards the village, Anegondi which apparently was the actual capital of the Vijayanagara empire before it was moved to Hampi. Travelling across the countryside under dark clouds and cool breeze is like having a beautiful dream…you do want to last longer, but the moment the climax comes you miss the ending. Here too…you want this thing to go on forever, but somewhere down the line, either we move far away from it, or it just stays of figment of one’s imagination. After reaching Anegondi, we realized that there were couple of temples in that part and nothing what we had expected to see….but to our surprise, we came across the unfinished bridge across Tungabhadra. (Some of you might have seen it, it was aired in one of the episodes of Roadies…). After some heavy showers and getting drenched, we crossed the river in a coracle…quite an experience.

1:00 PM

A little further down the road, started out tryst with the ruins. First was the Tallargatta Gate, and after some heavy posing for the camera we were on our way to the town of Kamalapura. On the way we were guided to a temple which was on top of a small hill. From outside, I wondered why someone would build such a huge temple so far away from the village or town amidst these boulders. The boulders seemed to have a story to tell, each one of them strangely arranged to give an unmistakable identity. Actually along with the lighting around under overcast conditions, it turned out to be a photographer’s dream! The temple was on its way of neglect and it remains to be seen, how long it’s going to sustain. But am sure even at that stage, it will continue to remain puzzling to those around as to how exactly someone could build it so close to the rocks. According to a legend, Rama and Lakhsmana took rest at this hill while they were on their way searching Sita and hence a temple. Probably this one temple would be more memorable to us to some thrills for some stunning camera work by Harsha!...Here’s one such pic from the gallery…

4:00 PM

We were on our way back to Hampi and the other side of river with a lot more to explore for the next day. Completely drenched along with some holi colours, the day was a good starter for what was in store for us!...

7:00 PM

“What do you do?”…”I do nothing man…”…..(heavy laughing in one corner)….”Look at him dude…he’s too lost!!”…(more laughter!)….Five of us sharing a jumbo…and then down to three trying out the missilistic pan!...[:P]….”It was like nothing….It’s awesome…it’s like nothing….indescribable”….”Check that chick out….I think that dude is hitting on her….”….”awww…comeon guys, lets leave”….

That was how the day ended on a extremely “high” note, it surely was going to remain in our memories baring the last 3 hours before hitting the sack!...[:P]…



Next Day…March 23rd. Sunday

9:00 AM:

I was woken up by a random lost drop of rain which managed to sneak in through the thatched roof. And after sometime, all of us pulled ourselves together and bade goodbye to “Goan Corner” and its wonderful host Sharmila…and “Vicky”!!!...(phew!!!...I so wanna go back there now!!...[:P]) and all those foreigners with whom we had shared little moments of joy. After crossing the river, we turned towards the “Mango Tree Restaurant”. This place is easily one of the best hangouts in Hampi…located in a Mango Orchid, the place offers a magnificent view of the island and the river. And on a rainy day it’s a different story altogether. Perfect place to spend as much time as possible just staring at things around….all the serenity!

11:30 AM

This time we took some better bikes to explore the ruins of the Vijayanagara Empire. We started off with a Ganesha and Krishna temple followed by an underground Shiva Temple little further down the road. Just at the back of this temple is the main part….something which stood once for its glory and the legend that gold, diamonds, rubies were once sold in huge quantities in its streets…the ruins. It’s actually unbelievable that a 600 years old thing could come down like that…and all that remains were some walls here and there and basement of what would have once existed. Thanks that this place was declared as a UNESCO heritage site, otherwise God knows what all we would have lost by now. There were ruins of what would have been a busy street, lots of public baths, temples, mosques (those kings were secular too!!), bazaars, elephant stables, even a minting place. Spanning 59,000 sq mts, this huge complex of remaining basements and other pillars is a site worth exploring. Maybe you could get into a game, guessing what activity could have been in which street and things like that. The most impressive of all is the Durbar, which is a three-tier structure, offering a panoramic view of the whole area. Adjacent to this are the Hazara Rama Temple and the Stepped Tank…both of them stand as an example of the lavish Dravidian Architectural style. What’s disturbing at first was to find no idols in any of the temples that we had been to in the ruined city. Later we realized that the subsequent conquerors post 1565 must have destroyed them or they could have been stolen over the years post the downfall of the Vijayanagara Empire…

3:00 PM

We were still hanging out in that place and trying to explore more things, the stepped tank was beautiful and the water transport system to this place was interesting to watch! This is where rain eventually caught up with us and along with it, brought some stunning variety of clouds consisting of a beautiful mélange of azure and black. Should say, it’s really difficult to say whether we were chasing the clouds or vice versa. Everywhere we went, as Harsha puts it…was ”A Wallpaper Material”…and thanks to Ranga’s SLR and Harsha’s thrills, the shots have come out brilliantly….here’s a small glimpse of it…Both these pics were shot within a gap of 10 minutes, so you can imagine how things were that day...


4:30 PM

Our last tryst with the Vijayanagara Empire culminated with the Queen’s palace and the Elephant stables. This complex also has a Lotus Mahal, which is constructed in the Indo-Ismalic style. It was a bit disappointing that only it’s style of architecture was described in almost all these places. This makes it a little difficult to understand the significance of each structure (A guide along with you would help a lot!!!). I remembered that Hampi was quite famous for its Stone Chariot and we found out that it was in the Vittala Temple couple of kms away from Hampi on the banks of the river. But we couldn’t reach it on time…that place closes down at 5:30 PM!!!...[:(]

6:00 PM

A visit back to Mango Tree Restaurant to laze around a bit…and 5 of us sat there staring at the orange sun going down the horizon, the motor boat going silent….little bulbs glowing across the river and life coming to a stand still…..peace…eternal peace…

It was just 2 days of trip to this place which we thought was gonna be blazing hot! But it took us totally by surprise with the overcast conditions; I think it added more to the glamour of this place and the rain!!...Rain and its unpredictability…. Would say, it was a perfect trip for 2 days and life seemed so different…it’s like you have no clue what you would do next, but you always knew that this was your view for a perfect outing…or rather a Perfect Life!... I wish I could have captured that serenity, that music of the river dancing down the rocks, the vision of the ruins which speak a lot for themselves. I know I cannot do that….but some pictures would serve as an alternative to remind me of that wonderful time. And I believe, every time I close my eyes and try to remember few things related to fun and happiness, these 2 days would come back again and again…I haven’t traveled much, but of the little I have, I would put this one in the bracket of the finest I have ever been to….I guess this was because I was traveling with a bunch of great guys…thanks Harsha, Ranga, Arun and Praneeth!....I so wish everyone from Kastle Vista should have joined us….but anyway, that leaves me a good excuse to go back to this place some other time….and this time, I wish I could stay for more time there…it’s a great place to write…to think…to laze…to ogle[:P]…to do…to get lost in the beauty….to get on a high …..on nature ([:P]). And that’s what I call….Nature, On the Rocks!


Click Here to check out few more pics from the trip on Harsha's Gallery....



Monday, March 17, 2008

The Sea

There is a saying far in a land unknown,
“A drop of water can be saved forever, only when it is thrown into the sea”
I never knew what that meant,
And I wanted to be saved, for I was one.

I was born on the day when Gods sent me to earth,
Only to be lost in isolated paths of life,
And all through I would stare down at the stream below,
Which filled me with curiosity unknown.

One fine day, I took the plunge of my life,
Drooping from the great tree which held me safely,
Guess What?! That was the most adventurous thing I had done,
And the hills of my land couldn’t stop talking about the one, who took the wrong turn.

I couldn’t see where I was heading,
But met millions like me all the way,
And saw million eyes filled with hope and dreams,
But all had one thing in common, the will to reach the sea!

Holding and pushing ourselves downstream,
I looked up into the heaven to see if I could find my home?
All I could see were the clouds obscuring the little possible I could see.

For some reason, I felt lost and stopped for a while;
And when I looked back I could see a trail behind,
A proof that I had lived my life and made others follow.

It brought a smile on my little face,
And wondered how others see their lives as?
I asked,” O! My friend. which part of heaven are you from?”
He smiled and said, I don’t know, I am yet to find one.
And I knew, we would all eventually, in the sea!

The sea, made of millions like me,
Outwitting, outclassing those around,
It is this sense of struggle which keeps us going,
And I don’t know where to stop…where to end this journey.
When that happens, I know that I am saved forever, I am immortal…

And that part of heaven is called the sea,…made of millions like me,
Outwitting…outclassing each other to leave a trail for others to follow….

---Hemanth Kumar

(Written on 22/2/2008)

This one was written on my Birthday...22/2/2008...for all my friends...[:)]

THE MASK

think I cried the moment I was born,
But I still wonder how I brought smile back to the faces forlorn,
What kind of world have I entered?
Where ones sadness is another’s happiness.

Years later when I could walk and think on my own,
I realized that things are way too different than what they seem,
And to see them you need for yourself a mask,
It gives you an identity alien before.

And now I have many in my closet,
One for Monday and another for Tuesday,
I always have a smile and appear full of hope,
After all it’s a great way to start a week and kick start the race.

They wear out sooner than one can think of,
And I take out another two, one for Wednesday and another for Thursday,
I look all worked up and desperate for some break,
What more can you pray for than some peace of mind?

And they wear out sooner than one can think of,
Only 2 are left, one for Friday and another for Saturday,
What more can I ask for? I look as if I was born yesterday,
All I could think of was some fun and some frolic.

And I ran out of masks,
Thank Goodness, I didn’t have to wear any at least for one day,
The world looks so different without a disguise,
Everything’s so pure and exists in solitude and solace.

But who’s this in the mirror?
I have never seen him, though it’s me standing in front of the mirror,
I tried to draw my picture, but got lost in the contours of my face,
They keep changing, probably getting ready for the week ahead.

I wish I could throw away my masks,
And all those fake expressions and acts of purposeful existence,
But where would I stand devoid my mask?
It’s my identity and maybe my way of life…

And I open my closet to choose the mask for the day,
To go back to my existence and keep my life and conscience at fray,
To walk into oblivion and be one among you,
And keep believing that one day all of this would come to an end…

Reminiscence

The streets are too desolate to imagine,
And so are the coffee shops around the corner,
Why am I walking on the road at this hour?
Darkness is all around and there is no light ahead.

I sat in the coffee shop for a drink,
The aroma of Chocolate was captivating,
Where have I come this day?
The scent of flowers reminds me of days past.

I used to gaze around and wonder where life was running,
The spring at that time was at its best,
On one fine day I ran into you,
And life was never the same again.

When blink of the eye was a moment wasted,
What more could I do to think about you?
I so wish I had the power to stop time,
Maybe then I can find a rhythm to my life’s hymn.

I followed your steps and took the same lanes,
It’s a wonder that I could never lose your sight,
How could I? I saw you everywhere I went,
And one find day I could tell what was dream and what reality…

I look at myself in the mirror,
And wonder whom I am seeing,
I lost my features….my identity,
Haven’t looked this good till now, and I don’t even know since when?!

And I ran to see you again,
To tell you that my dawn begins with a glimpse of your smile,
And ends when I can see you no longer,
To tell you that you have filled the void in my life,
And I can no longer stay alone!
I ran…and I kept running…

The world is a small place to hide,
But what do I do with this splinter in my mind,
How long would I have to run to find you?
I can’t see you, but I keep thinking maybe you are around,
I keep hoping that one day you will make me a part of your life…
And I keep running towards that day…thinking…hoping…..

One Step Wayward...

The wheel spun faster than I thought,
And the day was just beginning to wake up,
Clear road ahead, and our gusto fraught,
Oh passerby, did you see the strangers who hit the road?

The ball of fire was too mellowed down,
And what a spectacle was that!
We stared directly into the Sun,
And felt like He was warming up for his routine!

The boulevard took us to lands unknown,
Fields in the countryside were fully mown,
But the Sunflowers smiled at us,
I think we were obstructing the Sun at that moment.

The fog cleared away,
And took away with it the solitude around,
The humming of the birds in trees and bustle of men around,
I wonder how things can change in a moment,
For a moment you see what freedom is, what Heaven is,
But then you realize that you are never alone and are still mortal!

Aimless and free of burden, what more could you ask for?
All we were doing was to find out where the road leads us,
And we go on….we go on…
And we would go on till the point where the road ends.

The Sun kept following us all the way,
I think even He got bored and finally hid the Sun behind the mountains,
The darkness wraps around leaving no void,
But still, there is never a moment morbid,
Maybe this is what happens when we stand and stare…

Sometimes a step out of our banal lives changes everything,
You see what you have been missing all the while,
Sometimes a moment well spent works wonders,
It stays on like that forever…memories are so hard to forget!

Sometimes I wonder if we have time for anything.
All we seem to do is run towards the next post,
Unaware of what lies ahead and hopeful of crossing the finish line,
Oh brother, look back, maybe you have missed a step or two…
Where would you run if there’s no road ahead?

Rhyme of the Wind

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter;
The rhythm of the downpour accentuates the thunder in the clouds,
And the ferocious wind from the sea howls wildly,
I wonder if the Gods are having a fight up in the Heaven;

The rain descends to the ground below,
Flooding the roads and making all life come to a standstill,
Have never seen things around so calm,
I wish it rains like this everyday just to see everything still and soothing,

Alas, I never wished to see few things,
Like logs of wood floating in the sea,
I fear for a ship far from my sight,
Like an infant crying on the street,
I think about the mother, who has lost her child,
Like a leaf flying in the wind,
And I think about the tree turning bare.

This almost sounds like a lullaby,
Or maybe like a rhyme from a Gaelic bard.
The whispers of the breeze are too obstinate,
They fill the hopes and dreams of people of the spring ahead.

I wish the winds bring along with them,
A message from my Knight, who’s far away in a Crusade,
Oh…my Love, Why do you fight so much?
Don’t you see that it doesn’t even matter if you win?
All I want is your blade doesn’t taste more blood than this,
We don’t want to rule over a land of Ghosts!

I wish the rain washes away the blood on the land,
If not, it will always stay as a memoir of a battle once fought,
A battle which changed the course of history,
And turned brothers into Enemies

Oh God of Rain…What are you waiting for?
Unleash your power, and let the clouds drain out every bit,
Let the masks of people be washed away,
Let the disguise of egotism be unveiled,
Perhaps that day, their souls will drop,
Let them repent for what they have done,
And contemplate for what may lie ahead…

Drop in the Rain

The clouds are too beautiful to describe,
And so is the rainbow spread across it,
I try to catch the glimpse over and over again,
But it just conjures up when I think of it,
Where does it go when I am awake?
I wish I could walk on the clouds and splash across the rain,

On the streets, early in the morning,
I see the birds chirping in oblivion,
I try to look around and come across few,
But I wonder if it’s the same voice that I heard?
The music stays on and so does the aroma of the dawn,
I wish the day goes on like this and wonder what if it doesn’t?

I step out and am lost in the crowd,
I try to find a way out,
And I end up taking a wrong turn in the maze,
There’s no way back and then only hope remains,
Hope that some new turns and ways come on the way,
What would happen if this goes on forever?

I end up taking the same road everyday,
And it leads to the same place,
I wonder where I would be if I had taken the other way,
What makes me turn towards the same turn everyday?
What if something else happens one fine day?
Where would I be on that day?

With the sun setting in the horizon,
I stare at the sky every night,
And wonder why do the stars appear all over the skies?
It doesn’t matter if I end up seeing a different star everyday,
They too end up doing the same thing over and over again,
What makes them different from what we are?
What makes them so beautiful night after night?

What if…what if…
I end up doing nothing and yet, there’s so much to look out for,
Oh…brother, don’t laugh at me; I am not lazy,
I don’t understand why I stand still in the race,
If idleness is boredom, then isn’t work?
If only you could see that there is no point trying to catch up with life,
You go and change the world, and I would stand beside to clap for you,
But the question is…what would you do if you were me?!

The Dawn

As the valley relishes in its deep slumber,
The mist creeps in and kisses my feet,
I go further into the layers of my quilt,
Too curious I am to know the end of my dream.

I ain’t sure when I woke up,
But am sure that others were still dreaming,
I saw myself in the mirror,
And after too many days to remember, saw myself smile.

I hate the fact that we wake up with the same feeling,
Day after day, year after year it’s the same.
What if something abnormal happens at times?
Like snowing in the middle of summer,
Like flowers blooming in autumn,
Like a feeling that something great is in store for us…

Dew dripping down the trees,
Clouds hanging around searching for a place,
Hills singing in melody for the monsoon,
And we thought that everyday is the same.

Late last night, something exceptional happened,
The hills for the first time in ages had turned white!
Reflecting like a mirror, they shone like silver,
So strong was the glaze that even the Sun closed his eyes.

I kept the morning coffee aside and gazed around,
The aroma of dawn filled my mind,
I can’t help but think, if this isn’t beauty then what is?
If this isn’t bliss then what is?

Dallying and sauntering on the boulevard
Singing with the wind and catching the snow,
I smiled at the Tulips and Roses in my hand,
And there it was…the Sun in its full glory,
For a moment it looked as if heaven had dawned on the hills.

The snow started melting and the drops fell on the rocks,
It’s probably the most soothing sound in the world,
Sounds as if an invisible Mozart at his best!
And what bigger Opera can there be if there are birds chirping along.


The warmth of the Sun set the vale ablaze,
The silence of the night gave way to the din of the day,
And by the time the town was on its feet, snow was gone
Alas it was just another day for most of them!

I am back to my room and thought the day passed too soon,
When would I get to see the snow again?
When would the hills drape in ubiquitous silence again?
I sleep again wishing that I won’t wake up the same way as today
I sleep again wishing that I would smile and hope a great day is in store,
I sleep again…dreaming that there would be another morning…
I sleep again….to see another dawn.

Walking Through Haze...

Cindrella…o…Cindrella,
What are you waiting for?
Days go on, but you won’t comply…
When shall thou realize the maze?
Up there from the tower,
What do you look for down here?
Miles and miles across,
There’s nothing but emptiness

You can’t move, you can’t shout,
Neither can you smile, nor can you laugh,
Yet you wait for the day to do all that
When shall thou realize that it’s not a matter of time,
But the confluence of you two which will free you.

The knight is too naïve to realize the truth,
He thinks, that there’s no tower on this earth which he has missed,
Yet he can’t find you and he keeps looking,
When shall he decode the enigma?
When shall he break the spell cast by the witch?

The witch was too shrewd and challenged the Knight to the crest,
And what a spell it was, she hid you inside your Knight’s heart!
But here’s the catch …you can’t be free unless one of you die!!!
Either way, it’s a heavy price to pay… my princess.

What if the knight realizes this spell?
I think, he would give his life to set you free,
But if he did, then would you want to be alive?!
So far, so good…no one knows this, neither he nor you.
And the search continues…

Look around Cindrella and you will hear your name rebound!
O Knight, look within she’s there in you,
Let there be no tears, and no fears…
You are bounded for eternity...this is just the other side of the spell.

Come what may, you won’t know this,
And the search continues,
And the day you realize the truth,
Neither of you shall survive.

Keep moving…keep looking, maybe one day you will take the road less traveled,
Maybe you will walk through haze without a clue what’s around
Who knows what you may come across, keep searching…keep walking.

Road to Nirvana

Just another day in just another town,
Walking, strolling, and dancing in the wind,
I wonder why the sun always rises from the East,
It makes the Sun so predictable!

I see, plenty others staring at Him,
Hoping that He would show some mercy,
I wonder what they lose if their prayers are unheard,
Life goes on like the eternal sun.

I thought my job was perhaps the most banal of all,
And thought, there are thousands of bored people like me,
I saw the Sun and the prayers,
And realized that my life is no different from theirs,
We walk the same road and crisscross in oblivion

What would I be if I wasn’t just another average Joe, with an average job?
What would I do, if I had no reason to work?
What would I do, if I had no reason to live?
What would I do…why should I do anything?

What drives us crazy to do something?
Hope that it will be a better day tomorrow?
Will to succeed and be the best?
Madness to rise above the rest?

I ask my alter-ego who seems to be always happy
Maybe it exists to see another Sunrise, to see another sunset,
To see another smile, to see another tear,
To see another night, to see another moon & stars,
Live on…Live on…Eternity comes before 100!

Am just another ghost, in just another town,
Waiting for the sun to rise to start my day
A day devoid of reason, but ironically, the means to find a reason
If everything is so predictable, then where does the smile or tears come from?

I tell my shadow to follow me,
Too difficult to lay all your egos at rest,
If escaping from yourself is the solution,
Where would you go to live a life?
It’s the same sun, same wind, and same night everywhere.
Madness, confusion, smile, tears, hope, destiny, Oblivion, Chaos, Win, Loss, Conquer, Defeat, Bliss, Innocence, Happiness, Knowledge, Nirvana….

What dreams may come true?

Far away in the sky,
Came an unlikely guest to peep across the horizon,
A horizon quite unlikely to have taken place
But when it did, nothing could stop it.

The flakes of snow which kissed my cheeks all this time,
seem to have vanished in no time
And the moment the sun came into the picture,
I knew I had a reason to smile.

What does it mean to smile...to chuckle?
I look at the solitary swing in my backyard,
And smile at an era bygone, when there was joy around,
Now, all I do is wonder what and when did things go wrong?

Isolated are the streets and so are my dreams,
I can't think of anything different from what I see,
Images gory pass through my mind,
but i wonder who gives them a reason to occur in first place.

I hold the edges of the threads dangling from my mother's dress,
And think of the days, when this would have been an oddity
that the queen of the house can't maintain the dress properly
But what do I do, I see the awkward silence on her face
And wonder, where did her aura go?

All I hear outside are boots singing in unison,
they remind me of another futile battle,
A battle, where everything is lost after the victory.
It's not the battle for power but of egos

I cry not because I am sad, but to wash the dirt on my face,
I can't think any more and have dreams
But if I am still existing, then maybe there's still some hope left
To see the day, when I can walk down the road without any fear...

I dream to see the sky azure, without any smoke
I dream to fly a kite without a bullet piercing it,
I dream to walk around the bazaar and haggle for everything possible
I dream to sleep everynight without fear
I dream...to dream...and dream...and dream...

First Take

Everything you are about to read is not fictitious, any resemblance to an event or idea existent or not, is purely intentional and not coincidental. Although, I am just going to write about what I think, and not emphasizing on what one should think.

The following post is a real scenario which came too close to existence but couldn’t in the end. So, everything that I write here is genuine stuff and not a figment of my imagination.

One fine day, I was wondering what’s the best thing to talk about in front of 119 people. Should it be something which everyone understands. Or should it be one which might interest people to actually listen to me?...By the end of the day, it struck me that, maybe I can talk about what I love to talk about if given a chance….Cinema.
Suddenly, my brain put on its thinking cap and tons of incidents, ideas, trivia popped up and I indeed had a lot of stuff to talk about. And for a moment I daydreamt of the scene where I would be talking about this stuff…literally nothing short of Robert Langdon clearing some myth to his students in Da Vinci Code…(Oops…I think that was exaggerated to quite an extent, but I guess you have an idea of how excited I was.)
And the daydream developed into a good script which takes place like this….

“Good Afternoon One and all….My name is Hemanth Kumar and I am from Batch 827 And today I am going to talk about Cinema and its Impact”

“I understand that each one of us understand cinema in a different way, so I would relate my experiences with Cinema and how it has influenced me. Before going any further, I would like to have a close look at this letter from English Alphabet….”i” What all things can you think of when you look at this letter?!
1. 9th letter in the alphabet.
2. The only vowel which exists along with a meaning.
3. The only letter which is giving the same preference as your own Name and even God. Have you ever thought why should we equate ourselves to God?!...or why should the first letter when referring to God should be in caps?!

What I mean to say is, when you can come up so much stuff, so many questions from just one letter, imagine the impact thousands of word would have on you?! If you believe that a picture speaks a thousand words, imagine the impact created by thousands and thousands of images. That’s the amount of information you can convey through cinema…absolutely impeccable, and endless possibilities when you think about it.

Before going ahead, let me define what Cinema means to me through a small story. In some parts of the world, before all the modern techniques came into existence, Gold was extracted in a different method. Hundreds of tons of sand would be processed to extract gold. If man had given up digging for Gold because there was too much sand, maybe we could never have got Gold…for me Cinema is that Gold. So, cinema for me is something which makes an impact…and sand is the stuff which is available in plenty around, sometimes hindering people from differentiating quality stuff from the banality around.

There are two quotes which really inspired me…something which reiterate why it’s great falling in love with movies…

“If photography is truth, then Cinema is Truth 24 times a second”-a quote from the French movie…”Le Petit Soldat”
“Talking about movie, is like talking about Dreams”-Fredrico Felini, Italian director, one of the greatest filmmakers ever.

The process of making an image movie is quite similar to the way, how we as kids used to make cartoons at the top of the page and flip it at one go, it looks as if the action is taking place. Similarly, for every second there are 24 frames (pictures) moved at a go, so that looks like an action.
All of us watch movies for different reasons, some would say it’s just entertainment, some for timepass…and quite a few would agree that it really changes the way you think about things around and life in general. Coming to some of the types of cinema, there do exist quite a number of types of cinema, prominent among them are the Commercial cinema and the Parallel cinema. And these can be divided further on the basis of the genres that they fall under...like Action, Drama, Romance…etc.

In my view, people who make commercial cinema understand what people want to see and Parallel Cinema, expects the audience to think and try to understand what the director wants to convey. Most of the times, they literally put you off to sleep…so, it really a test of your patience and your interest in cinema. Personally I like parallel cinema, because I tend to relate the protagonists to people around me and most of the times I find that people don’t sing, dance like what’s shown in commercial cinema…and they are not some superheroes either. Most of the times, Parallel cinema is quite successful in portraying people in different shades where they have feelings quite similar to how you and I feel.

What makes Cinema such an interesting thing is its power to reach a wider audience and also make people aware of several issues like War, Genocide, Racism in places where it is not known. There are plenty of movies which deal with issues related to war…like few of the WWII movies which depict the atrocities by Nazis (have to say, that’s just a part of the greater picture associated with war) and you have loads of documentaries which bring the views from inside…for example, Farenheit 9/11, Sicko, The Inconvenient Truth etc. There are few other great movies which have been adaptations from great books, plays. People surprise you with their view of life…someone like Stanley Kubrick, Andrei Tarkovsky, Ingmar Bergman (these people are adept at depicting traits like loneliness, spirituality, Dark comedies…etc).

Let me take you back to my past, maybe you will get an idea about how this passion for movies started. In Andhra Pradesh, we have a great culture with respect to movies. Every festive season there are tons of movies released, there was a time when we would end up watching everything. This phenomenon transformed to Passion for cinema 15 years later. And I realized how much I had fallen in love with movies in college. Should say it had made me more and more interesting towards things other than books and grades. And I am deeply indebted to it for this. On the flipside, if I have to say, about the not so good things…I became a couch potato, am 84kilos right now and deeply confused about what I am doing right now….But would also add that I know clearly what I love the most, and what I would do few years down the lane.

People always ask me how I get so much stamina to watch movies (I am not exaggerating, the average count was around 3-4 movies per day at one point of time…). The answer is…. I don’t know, probably we don’t mind spending time for something which we love to do. Foreign Cinema, especially that from Europe has made me realize the power and outreach of great cinema. Directors like Bergman, Felini, Pedro Almodovar, Roman Polanski and loads of others from France have redefined my perspective of cinema. Their take on themes that are difficult to comprehend and satirical subjects create an impact which only few can understand; which makes the very point of watching all their so called “philosophical” and “boring” movies so interesting and demanding to watch. It’s like having to talk to a person whom you don’t want to talk to. But after sometime, you tend to look for ways to like that person. And when you do fall in love with that person, you wonder how could you think the way you earlier were thinking? Watching a great movie makes me feel like that. And foreign cinema…the more you watch it, I sometimes feel that the more original themes seem. It’s like eating ice-creams…first you would try having all the flavours and then decide which one you like more. For me, foreign cinema is an untouched flavour.

A bit about Indian Cinema, it has come a great way from Alam Ara to Shree 420, from Mughal-E-Azam to Sholay to Lagaan. What’s most interesting about the trend in Indian Cinema is the effect of the Indian psyche or the conditions in the society which have been adapted so well in many of the movies. The movies which came in the decade after Independence had a huge influence of the prevalent conditions like fight for land, hunger, man vs machines and so on. Some of the best examples for this kind of genre are….Do Bheega Zameen, Mother India, Naya Daur. And then came Mughal-E-Azam, by far such grandeur hasn’t been achieved in Indian Cinema History (perhaps Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s Devdas might come close…but considering that Mughal-E-Azam is from 60’s, it has an upper hand). This film took 9 years to finish, some 4000 horses, 8000 troops were used for the war scenes. Also one of the first Indian Films to have a song in Colour (Jab Pyar Kiya tho Darna Kya?), it was a commercial BlockBuster, and one of the very few films which was granted a theatrical release in Pakistan. In the year 1975, another film took the nation by storm, Sholay. Never in the history of the cinema would people end up loving everything associated with the movie. Dialogues would last for eternity and so will the action and emotion. 80’s brought along with it themes like fight for justice, socialism and also the influence of emergency was clearly evident. 90’s was dominated by Romance and we had films like DDLJ stand up for more than a decade. Then in 2001, a film came which turned cinema halls in Cricket Stadiums, Lagaan. Never had a movie captured the imagination of the entire nation the way Lagaan had done. Eventually it was nominated for Oscars and was one of the five finalists. And no list of classic movies is complete without the mention of directors like Satyajit Ray, Adoor Gopalakrishnan and a host of others from Malayalam and West Bengal.

Cinema is also a great medium to bring forth issues to a wider audience. One of the best examples could be stated is that of Marlon Brando. When he had won the Oscar for his role in Godfather, he sent a little known actress named Sacheen Littlefeather who was dressed in the Red Indian Style. And he wrote a letter which she read out to the august audience, the reasons why he wasn’t present on the occasion, and also his objections to the depiction of Native Americans by Hollywood and Television. In 1915, D.W.Griffith came up with a movie “Birth of a Nation” about white supremacy and interracial relationships. Although, it had a bit of negative impact on the society at large, it was also responsible for the resurrection of Ku Klux Klan.

With the advent of new technology and also internet, piracy movie marketing, distribution and advertising have taken the centre stage. There was a time when we had to wait for 6 months, sometimes even a year for an English movie, but the trend changed with Matrix Revolutions, the movie released worldwide on a single day. In India, Reliance came up with a strategy where the movies could be telecasted through satellite. What this means is, cinema halls in rural and remote areas wouldn’t have to wait for longer time to watch a movie…they can simply order a movie within a week of release and it will be telecasted. Also movie merchandising and distribution with the entry of huge corporate houses has helped the production houses rake in huge profits.

There’s a famous debate on whether “Life imitates art or Art imitates Life?” Whatever maybe the case, the ultimate aim of a film should be to influence and make an impact. We have more than 6 billion people across the world. And each one of them have a different story to tell, a different point of view of life…which means at any point of time, we must have more than 5 billion stories….so, it’s crap to say that we don’t have enough films…either you haven’t come across enough or you haven’t made an effort to catch a flick. I would like to conclude this session with a brief mention of my transitions in life. I call it the CD transition. When I was a kid, C stood for Cat and D for Dog. After few years, C was for Cool, and D for Drinks. In college, C stood for Compact and D for Disks. And now, at the turn of an important phase of my life, I have realized that C is for Cinema and D is for Dreams. I hope we as a generation pass the knowledge what we have gained from this life and not what you learnt from your forefathers. I hope we never cease to believe that possibilities are endless and there can never be an end to what one can think. I hope that we never cease to explore the unknown and interpret things more and more.


Thank You and I hope You Dream a Lot!!!

I, Dream

Rays of Sun with a gentle breeze,
Birds chirping in a distant corner,
And a coffee in hand & smile on your face and next,
Is it yet another day or am I waking up to one?

Traveling through hordes of anxious eyes,
Trying to come across the same as yours,
What wishes may come true?
What dreams may come true?

I am not on top where I have to be,
Maybe that’s a good thing to know that you have a long way to go,
And a step forward is just the starting,
You might just end up at a different destination.

What’s good for me & what’s bad…
Do I know or should I know?
I look around to understand this,
And find the same rebound.

Anxiety should I call it or fear of unknown,
At a time when every moment is meant to be exciting,
I sniff something around,
I think I am trying to read alien thoughts.

I am not crawling, am trying to walk,
I want to fall down,
I want to melt infront of an adversary,
And when I see myself standing the next day,
I know I have won, I am still standing.

Walk until you droop, you will know the road,
Run until you stop, you will endure the fight & the race,
Live and let the destiny take you along,
After all things shouldn’t be kept under control.

Dream….dream….dream
What dreams can you dream?
What dreams do you wish would come true?
What dreams end as dreams?
I, Dream….Do you?

-Hemanth

(23-10-07)

This poem was written on the second day at Satyam...Auditorium, loads of people around and me...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The "Y" Side...

A generous smile greeted me when I opened my eyes,
It was different around than what I had imagined in my mother's womb,
I tried to move around and saw him then,
My source, such was his graceful appearance...

I instantly realised that I knew him,
He had heard me move in my mother's womb,
Placing his hand to feel how big I had grown,
That was my first contact with things alien separated by a thin membrane..

One day, he took me around,
me sitting on his shoulders,
to a place too far that I can't remember,
To see a Sun setting, a life down the hill gearing up for the night.

I wondered, why he was so calm most of the time,
Everyone else around seem to talk as if there's no tomorrow,
He replied for everything with an unreasonable smile and calmness,
I believed everything what others had told about him...he was so unusual!

One fine day, I happened to see his other side,
He was talking too much....and something seemed to be awry,
I think he just wanted to be himself,
A shade of his persona which was unknown to many.

Years later I looked at myself in the mirror,
And couldn't stop wondering,
How in the world could two people be so similar!
I had inherited his calmness...that eternal calmness!
and everything which people couldn't understand about him...

He's more than twice my age now
and staring down at the other half of life,
he drops a little hints here and there,
just to make me realize that my days have come to stand up for the rest!

Another day,Another night
I come across the bills and recall those visits,
For a moment I forget about the blood and hysteria around
Thinking about the feeling of togetherness...if only for a brief time
A privacy felt amongst a crowd...in a foreign land...

I think the day isn't too far,
which he had been preparing me for,
A day when he no longer would be on my side holding my hand
and let me fly free with time...

If only he could be with me,
To let me put my head on his shoulder,
and see the sun going down the sea,
With a calmness that exists between us...


P.S...To a person who gave me my name
From a person trying to live upto that name....