Deja Vu...

I have a question for you....Have you ever been through a Deja Vu??...That's a term used to describe something that you are so sure that has occured in your life and it's occuring again although it might not be so...in several cases it's more or less a small incident but rarely would you have heard of incidents of Deja Vu after watching a movie sometime back.....Now you might say, it's stupid and quite a baseless statement to say. How can anyone experience the same things after having seen a movie of that kind??...

I am not talking about the usual comedy/romance/heavy drama/blah...blah of cinema....but i just can't stop thinking about two movies that i saw earlier this year.....Italian movie "Noshtalgia" by Tarkovsky and Swedish movie "Cries and Whispers" by Ingar Bergman...while the former is full of silence of self and yearning for the beloved, the later is about sibling rivalry .....both these qualities spectacularly portrayed things in both these movies....In Noshtalgia you see a writer who's thinking about his past and his homeland almost all the time though he's in a distant country....and in the latter movie...you have two sisters who have developed huge mental walls between themselves for what may seem like a very trivial reason....

Lemme put things into perspective by saying that...I am that man who thinks about his past...maybe just too much...or maybe it's just too many times...I guess it's a combination of both which makes it seem so close like a Deja Vu....I wonder why I keep thinking so much about so many things...most of them might seem to be very silly which even my Mom tells me that I day-dream way too much and thus neglecting my day to day responsibilities...but then maybe I don't see a better thing to do than to think and trying to find answers for what you think. So, in a way it's both a boon and a curse to think a lot. On one hand it generates lots of ideas out of which maybe one day, one among them might change the course of your life....the curse is that, maybe it will lead you to a path where you believe that there are much better things to do in life than that. Right now, I am more inclined to the boon part of it....which brings me to my second Deja Vu....building mental walls for seemingly trivial reasons....

A question constantly posed by my mom is that, "Why are you so Lazy??!!...Don't you see the other kids of your age of the present generation??!!...they are so capable of doing anything..." Now I wonder, why is my laziness a question of my capabilities...now I don't claim that I can do anything....but since when did not doing something become...not capable of doing anything?? I think about this which takes time....and inturn it adds to my laziness...hehehe....quite an irony it is!!...Another notion is that, if there's plenty of food with a TV(of course with cable) and a Computer (with internet)....it just doesn't matter where I live...be it among tons of people around or on a maroon island!!...and I had a taste of that life for 2 days...something which I am not gonna forget....you see, again there I thought...What kind of life can you live when the person sitting next to you is forcefully avoiding to talk to you!!! and not willing to give up under any circumstances even though you are almost begging to talk....atleast if I am on a lonely island, i will be happy to live a life the way I want to live it...but with someone who's willing to set up a similar condition at home!!....that's scary...that's really scary....Yes, this is me Hemanth who confesses that silence and lonliness is a scary thing when you know that you are not really alone and have to restrict the way you think and someone is actually watching you, why in the world are you like that!!....

Finally after having gone through 2 days of struggle within...there was a sunrise and atleast for the time being I was less lazy and atleast for the time being the mental wall collapsed!!....hoping that this phase of life of mine gives me wisdom to think what I wanna think without "starying" away from my generation....but WTF, why should I be like someone else, when in the end all that is gonna matter "How should I be myslef??"...Think about it. Maybe you will come across an answer....[:)]

Woh Haseena Zulfon waali!!!....

Natália Guimarães ....Phew...phew...phew....I just had one glimpse of her on the final of Miss Universe-2007 and was completely blown away!!...and i wonder...how in hell could she come second!! thought she deserved to be the winner....I am talking about the first runner-up Miss Brazil....

Would have loved to watch the whole show, but then I have no clue I didn't switch on to "Star World" till the final round...I guess it's reserved for the Indian Soap on channels like Sun, E and Gemini TV...[:)]...anyway...the final round wasn't that exciting; and thank God...I didn't hear any cliched answers like...I wanna do something like Mother Theresa and all other things...it's nice that these beauty queens talk about great people but then at some point of time, it just looks too artificial...they look as if they would do it if and only if they win the crown...otherwise, they are plenty of other options open for them...(i guess there are plenty of them who follow what they say, but this is one opinion which I have had for quite sometime about them)

And since it was being held in Mexico, i expected to see some anti-US remarks and there I was!!...Miss USA, Rachel Smith was booed so badly..at one point of time felt so sorry for her...but it didn't take long to focus all my attention on this lovely lady from Brazil...even Miss Venezuela and Korea was pretty....but as fate reigned supreme...Miss Japan took the first place...I wonder why??!!....I mean look at this lady...if there had been a popular vote for on the spot decision....then I am so damn sure that Brazil would have won it by a comfortable margin..hehe.....

Anyway, I bow before God...and wonder at the magic of His creation....

My Last Article...For EPC

I wonder, why I have been asked to write this one. And I will never be asked to write something like this again….4 long years…well they are going come to an end in less than a month!!!...Over the last few days my friends have been asking me, “Are you feeling psenti that you are leaving this place?” The answer is…No, not even a bit psenti about leaving this place. The reason why I say this is, there’s nothing that I can shed tears for, there are only smiles about everything imaginable, because every memorable moment is so crystal clear in my mind that I can just recall as if it has happened just few days ago!!! It’s for the sake of those zillion memories that I take back with me that I don’t cry. Maybe I am too overwhelmed to accept the fact that I will not be here anymore…

On Day1 we were told that attendance is not compulsory, there is no curfew after dinner like in several other colleges back home, you get to choose your own timetable; they said, you are mature enough to make your own decisions. Yeah…that is what this place is all about….we call it, “FREEDOM”. Some of us are of the opinion that too much of freedom will deviate us from the path of what we are supposed to do and what basically we are here for. Yes, they are quite right about that, but maybe I should mention this quote from the speech by Steve Jobs in Stanford University, “Life is too short. Don’t spend it living someone else’s. You gotta find what you love to do…so, don’t stop until that day, keep looking.” What we are about to do in the next 5 years might not be the same what we will end up doing in the next 20-30 years. And those seeds have to be sown right here, so later when you look back you will realize what great influence has these 4 years had on the rest of your life.

Everyday has been a pleasure to live here…so, the next time if some of you hear a comment someone saying “I can’t believe how those 4-5 years went”, you know why they say that!!! As someone who does very little apart from seeing things go past in a jiffy, watching movies or maybe even talking to someone, I wonder why didn’t that moment last longer. What I want to say, there’s nothing which is going to wait for you and as one of my senior had told me in my first year, “There’s no time for anything…you will have to make it from whatever you have.” One fine day, all that is going to matter is what we think and how far we can go to make those thoughts come true…make those dreams come true.

Before I forget, I really should mention some things which I would miss a lot!!!...Pappu’s Double Chai, Chimpu’s MNB, chai in Nutan under the moonlight just before sunrise, DC++ and all those people with awesome collection, people who smile at you for no reason, friends who are too excited to tell you “the” gossip in town, all those friends and seniors who have had a huge influence on me, heavy ghotting for each and every subject right from first year (Pun Intended!!!) and the biggest of all, Movies and Internet!!!

How I wish, these moments last longer, but maybe there’s more to come, that’s why everything has to have an end…atleast that’s what you can hope for. So, there go my last few words which I thought I could share, wish you all loads of success in life and for all those who still have time left here, think and do whatever you want to. This is BITS, this is LIFE.