Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Is it worth it?

Time: 8:00 AM

Good Morning....Today's Headlines......

>PM meets Mussharf in Havana.
>Tensions escalate in middle-east
> Angry protests over Pope's remarks
> WI win the ODI against Aus....

Now take another channel B for example which is telecasting news at the same time.....

good morning....Today's headlines......
>PM meets Mussharaf in Havana.
> Girls win over college administration in Chandigarh.
> Minister fined for travelling without a ticket.
> Sting operation exposes xyz in UP.
I think these are some of the common things that we come across in day to day life. what i mean to say is, how different news channels see different things as matters of national importance!!! Isn't there a limit to all the crap that we get to see in so many news channels. Thank God there are some specialized channels like Business channels, Cartoon Network and NGC/Discovery types.....otherwise it is the same old boring crap repeated over and over again.....and then there seems to be a new trend where the common man can voice his opinion.....through SMS. recently in one of the episode of "Laughter Challenge" there was a reference to these incidents which I would like to quote here......

"On a day not too far from now....the CEO of a newschannel was unhappy that his team was not doing enough to get all those "Exclusive" videos and "Flash" news, so he comes up with a plan to boost up the viewership of his channel; to telecast an incident before it even happens!!!!"
you must be wondering how this is possible???....Let us just for few minutes imagine that the channel goes ahead with this decision and later that day there is a kidnap scheduled to happen.....a girl is to be abducted by some goons and the newschannel comes to know about this. then the incident will be something like this.....
"Good Morning.....welcome to our special show...."Kabhar se pehle kabhar" . Today we will show you the girl who is going to be kidnapped exactly 5 hours from now......see this girl carefully; she's so young, so innocent, but she will be kidnapped by some goons without any kindness. This is an exclusive report.....let us take the opinion from the girl herself....."Mam....mam...you are going to be kidnapped in another 5 hours...how are you feeling about this?" The Girl says," well....i am kinda tensed, i have been told that i will be kidnapped; but they haven't specified how and who will kidnap me. i am really very excited, but i guess i would prefer if the goons don't use any knives because i am scared of sharp objects."......"That was the girl who will be kidnapped in another 5 hours by goons who will not see that she's so young and innocent....but will kidnap her in another 5 hours without any kindness.......this is XXX with Cameraman YYYY from Mumbai".

Studio: Thank you Mr.XXXX for your update on the incident which is going to happen later today. we will stay in touch with you throughout these tense moments. You, the viewers can also participate in our show, please send in your comments and letters to this address....."crap....crap.....crap...."....which leads to our question of the day...."What instrument will the goons use to kidnap this girl? A.Knive B.Pistol C.Lathi D.none of the above.....please remember the girl had earlier told us that she's afraid of Knives and other sharp objects.......you can see this in our exclusive footage....(scene repeats.......scene repeats....scene repeats.......until a wise thought knocks your head to shut down the crap and change over to something worthy.....)

Well maybe this programme hasn't yet invaded the channels, but going by the current trend that day will not be too far. I am baffled when i see the content of these so called 24*7 News channels......don't they run out of things that they can show!!!!! I guess this is exactly why there is so much of crappy repitition and all the worthless things that are picturised as matters of national importance. Check this out......

1.In the past few days i have seen reports about a snake which was chasing a young chap apparently to take revenge on him!!!! and later it was pacified after the villagers follwed the suggestions of a Baba...!!!!
2.In a village not too far from Delhi....people believe that some ghosts have occupied the police station.
3. In a village in Gujarat, people are not allowed to sing Himmesh resshamiya's tunes because a ghost haunts those who do it!!!!......(it is another matter that i seriously wish that ghost directly goes and sits in his studio, atleast that would prevent him from singing all that crappy songs...[:)]

and so on!!!!....In an attempt to show all these so called "exclusive" reports people go just too far to potray some of the most trivial matters as matters of national importance. it is high time we realise the job of media is just not to create sensation but also suggest/raise an issue which needs to be seriously looked upon. it is high time, that we realise that media ought to be an eye opener and not just an encyclopedia of human lives. is it really worth spending so much time getting all these things infront of people???.....is it really worth seeing all these sensational things???.....Is it really worth thinking about all these things???....Is it worth it???......

then an idea knocks my head and i become wise again......i switch on to HBO.....[:)].....alas!!! has been blocked in Maharshtra for apparently showing "A" rated movies......i wonder if the high court knows that there are more number of 18+ population than the people who whom this law is supposed to protect....[:)]


There is perhaps no other process like "Interpretation" which can influence a society or country. What we are seeing in the past few years in the world around us is the consequences of the "interpretation" of an incident. One group which i would say largerly responsible for this process is the Media.....these are the people who interpret the incident or news in the so called "best interest" of the people, without a single clue that the people that they are blaming are also watching the channel....for example take the example of the American Media. Long ago they termed the word "terrorist", maybe initially it was used in a very politically correct manner as someone who has no shape, no religion, no country whose sole aim is to terrorise the community.....but these days, i am very sad to say that things which were not supposed to happen are happening....now the terrorist has a name....he has a form....he has a country....he has a religion...[:(]. The media goes a long way in expressing their views when some incident happens...again as an example take 9/11 attacks....YES...that was a very inhumane act....nobody has a right to destroy another person's life....no religion teaches you to kill someone else....no country has a foreign policy of killing others, but look at the aftermath of those attacks. It was interpreted as an "attack on America's Independence" and that every human being in that country was in danger; instead of safeguarding the country from within, the incident gave a great excuse to wage a war on some remote country thousands of miles away where the only thing that grew was "Opium"!!!!.....In what one can term as the futuristic approach, applying the principle of "Prevention is Better than Cure"....this world super power was on a mission to destroy the terror outfits and now some supposedly potential nuclear threats.....

What i fail to understand is the fact that we form an opinion on what others think about the issue....often there are sensitive issues such as religion, faith which are always under scanner.....take the issue related to christianity.....when the movie "da Vinci Code" was set to release there were protests all over the world....(and India especially) that it was against the religion; well maybe dan brown did or did not intend to mean that...but before we even the saw the movie or read the book, where the debate is obviously open ended it was interpreted as being against the religion. another recent issue were the remarks of Pope Benedict related to Jihad.....my knowlegde in things like these are very limited, but don't you think these issues are taken too seriously??....maybe Pope misinterpreted the facts of the original conversation of the 14th century emporer Byzantine with the Islamic teacher.......and this quote from the Pope might lead to forming an opinion across sections who strictly follow his words....phew!!!...Mind is such a complex creature...you never know what thoughts crop up and what plans will be made...

Why go to all these places around the world....take our own country; how many times have we seen politicians and celebrities say that their statement has been in "Misinterpreted" or "Misquoted".....take the example of channels like Aaj Tak, India TV, Star News....and newspapers like TOI which all boast of having a large viewership in most parts of the country....these are the things which are going to influence the mind of the reader.....it is really a serious issue when they write something on an incident..because love it or hate it.....you cannot ignore it. It hurts when media/newspapers come to their own conclusion depending on the opinions of the so called "elite" panel (i was shocked to read that the recent blasts in Mumbai were targeted mainly on Gujaratis...). Now please don't get me wrong, but i think it is really important what you conclude after reading a report or seeing something on TV......

Let us all hope that things like these don't effect us.....let us hope that these "misinterpretations" don't change our lives....let us hope that they don't change our world.....

long time....

yup...it's been a really long time since i have blogged. Blame it on my schedule; though it's not that hectic but it definitely is kinda hard to get access to a comp...[:(]....Anyway things have changed a lot in the past few days, rather i have to see few months. Some good, some not so good.....first things first, i was pretty happy to know that all my friends have made some pretty nice jobs and also that my wing was the richest in the whole batch and Akki's wing was pretty close too....[:)].....hehehe....it is quite interesting rather curiousity i should say to stay in touch with all my friends in Bangalore, hyderabad and Pilani. And me in Pune which was pretty exciting in the starting few days. The city is pretty good to live in actually; it sort of has this urban India feel to it something close to Bangalore and Hyderabad. I had planned to explore the whole place in the initial few weekends and then keep the rest of the weekends aside for going to far off places like Goa, Nashik, Mumbai etc., This was until of course I realised that I was lagging behind in my prep for CAT. and everything changed in August. i began spending more time at home; made some nice friends, and mingled pretty well with a nice Tamilian family staying close to my house. And then there were my movies.....the watching spree was going in full throttle in the first few weeks and then started becoming very occasional though there was a continuous of movies through DVDs.....have to mention a point here; probably i saw some of the best Hindi movies in the past few days...starting from Guru Dutt's "Pyaasa", "Sahib Biwi Aur Ghulam" on DVD and in Cinema Hall......loved "Omkaara" and "lagey raho Munnabhai".
Chary has left for his MS to California, Garam to Toronto and pretty soon Apar too to some univ in England, Madhu to Germany.....after spending time with all these seniors I feel so nostalgic of all those good times...it also makes me think about the time not too distant in future when i will face a situation when i will be standing near the gate of some metropolitan Airport; and bid goodbye to friends who will soon soon leave for their job/studies. I guess everyone will have to encounter situations like these but it is the life after that which is quite puzzling without all those wonderful around. I think i am going through things like that almost everyday; not having too many people around, not much to talk about even with people whom i meet everyday. which is exactly why there seem to be too many things to talk about when you see a friend online or on the phone....alas! little do i know that they were too busy playing CS that time....hehehe....i must have disturbed so many guys who were at the peak of the level in the tournament....[:)].....

Maybe this sentence is sort of cliche' because every chap whom i come across says this.....these days even i have started thinking about it. we say, "It is so boring here da....i seriously want to get back to Campus".....maybe everybody lives under the same sky and they see the same Sun and Moon.....i guess it's a sort of feeling which is strong in each and everyone of us that makes us yearn for the college life. you may call it as "home away from home".....but i would prefer terming it as....perhaps the only place on earth where you are the boss of your own life...you can control the dynamics of almost everything around you...and also owe a lot to those around you...perhaps the only place where you feel you own your life....you live a life. I guess the scene from the movie "Shawshank Redemption" best summarizes my thoughts; yup i am talking about the letter which the old librarian sends to his friends back in prison and also the one which Morgan Freeman explains after he is released from prison.

life is full of little surprises and it is things like these that keep you going. perhaps there is no better thing than conversing with all the little people who matter.....there is no ego....no jealously....just a pure heart to heart discussion about everything that you can come up with.....i think this is exactly what one needs to learn in college.....it definitely help a lot in days to come, and i can assure that it will take you places.....it will prevent this "there are so many boring things around" idea from cropping up every now and then to a large extent. Which leads to the latest thing going in my mind......there are days when we rarely think about everything going around us....which is in a way Ok....but then there is something called as "Ripple Effect"....and also the "Chaos Theory"...which states that an incident can occur after originating from a different incident nowhere connected to it thousands of miles away.....something like the butterfly fluttering in one part of world can cause a typhoon in another part.......this is probably the inspiration to my next story that i am writing now named......."IT MATTERS......".

...coming soon to your inbox......
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Check Out your local listings for availibility....[:)]

Till then.....Good Day.....Hope you have a great time ahead......

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Da Vinci Code....

well...if you guys are eagerly looking forward to see this movie...i have few words for you...i saw it yesterday at home...well..you know, that piracy can come good sometimes especially when there were doubts if this movie would come out at all in the first place after all that controversy....

my rating:3.5/5

we should actually thank Ron Howard, the director for making this movie..exactly the way it is in the book.but somewhere down the line you get this feeling that you are not watching a movie but some sort of documentary in discovery channel.just that there are some big names in the cast and some chasing scenes the movie is like a moving version of the book..where every detail has been carefully explained. if you have liked the book...you will like this movie too but don't expect too much out of this moviewell, what stands out in the movie..hmmm maybe nothing at all..maybe the scene where Sophie is told what Priory of Sion is all about and the explanation about the Last supper is one exception
the movie doesn't need Tom Hanks or the beautiful Audrey Tautou who played the lead role in..."Amelie". because their talent doesn't create a magic for the film...maybe it adds on to the aura of the cast. forget for a moment that you are watching Tom Hanks acting like a God in..."Cast Away" or "Terminal"...i think you should see it is...Robert Langdon who's acting in the movie...overall..it's a good movie...nothing controversial at all....a fast paced book well shot..and oh yeah, forgot to mention...if you thought the character of Silas was scary like how they showed in...ads...well, think again...hehehehe...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006


What does this day mean to me?? Well..if I sit and recount the moments I spent on this day....maybe I will fall short of words….first when I got up, I was disgusted to see…TOI in my window instead of Economic Times. But everything has a purpose and I believed in that. I was sure that I wouldn’t find anything other than some crap written about some of the most unimportant things happening around us in the front page of TOI…but to my surprise….there was an article which completely took me by surprise. It said…this is the Platinum year of celebration of talkie movies in India…..it was exactly 75 years ago, that on this day, 12th march, 1931 that “Alam Ara” India’s first talkie movie was released. The whole page had some interesting stats and analysis of the most famous films, most famous villains, and stars in their eras, movies that changed some lives, the highest earning movies and loads of other stuff…..as the time passed, I was eagerly awaiting for the moment when we, the English Press Club of BITS, Pilani will go out for a movie for the first time. Finally we ended up in what I shall describe later as my new found hangout, Lakshmi Talkies. I should say, it’s gonna be the PVR of Pilani, given the variety and frequency of new movies that we get to see these days in this cinema hall. I had talked to the owner some 2 days back and asked him to screen some English movies too. We promised him that he can expect a good BITSian turnout, especially during this time when there are no tests. So….on my request he agreed to show, “Memoirs of Geisha” and “Crash”. The day when we went there….they were gonna screen the first movie. I had seen few trailers of this movie and thought that it will be very interesting. Well by the end of the movie, I don’t know if I was bored or if the movie was not that good. That’s not the point anyway….all that matters is that…there was something that could make 20 of us to hang out on a beautiful Sunday afternoon and for that I shall never forget that experience. But as murphy’s law goes…”if something has to go wrong, it will”….yes, it holds true everytime….and on that day….an innocent and unexpected nail tore my pants on the left side…:)…..and while coming back from the whole…what I can say….a good outing…..i saw somebody…whom I was least expecting at that moment and whom I thought should be the last one to know what had happened to my dress…:)…but…I should say….there was no other moment more suitable than that….when I believed in the saying…”everything happens for a reason”…..i was so thankful to God….that it didn’t happen on my right side…hehehe…..:)…..

After I came back to the campus…..i was kinda shocked to see an empty C-lawns…a very unlike phenomenon especially on a Sunday evening…..and was wondering since when so many people had taken some interest in watching the India vs England test match in Mohali….and to add to my doubts, I heard loud shouts from the common room. Phew!,….i thought some things never change. I came back to the room and opened my laptop….and what I saw on the homepage was absolutely shocking…Aussies had made 434/4 at the end of 50 overs against South Africa in the last of the 5 match series and the series decider ….Ricky Pointing had made 165 runs in 105 balls…to take Aussies to the peaks of world cricket. It was right on top…..no other team had scored more than 400 runs in an innings since the time when Geoffery Boycott played the first ball of the ODI matches in mid 70’s. But I was on the Proteas side…..they have come a long way since 1992…when they made their debut in International cricket after their Independence. I think no other team in cricket can be as unlucky as South Africans….everytime when they were at the edge of a deserving win…..rain gods would create havoc and the %*@!ing Duckworth Lewis method would screw them so badly that victory will be miles away. For a quick recap….in 1992 world cup they were about to win in a match and the rain changed the whole equation…and thanks to D/L method the final target was….22 runs to win in 1 ball. Can you believe that!!....and in 1999 world cup, they lost the quarter finals to Australia….and later when both of them qualified for semi-finals…..something happened….something that should never have…..everyone who had seen that season of cricket wouldn’t forget to acknowledge the heroics of Lance Klusner “Zulu”….as he is better known as….he unleashed his power strokes, almost a baseball style of hitting the ball in every match of that world cup….and in that unfortunate semi-final due to the most unfortunate run out of his fellow team-mate in the final over…the scores were tied and the match was a draw. Now, the tragedy was that….Australia was declared as a winner because it had defeated South Africa in quarter finals. I will never forget that moment. These people have changed the way people play cricket in the past 14 years….their fielding was their trademark….i remember, sometimes I just used to see their matches to see how beautifully Jonty Rhodes, dives to catch a ball….:)

And today on 12th march they had the most daunting task in their whole cricketing careers. What does it mean to chase 434 against the supposedly the most ruthless team in the world today??....what does it mean to win in front of that very same….Wanderers stadium crowd where India lost by 125 runs to Aussies in 2003 world cup finals??....i heard that the crowd was the most patriotic in the whole of SA here in this stadium….it would have been like…..India, playing against Pakistan in Eden Gardens….if I can draw a similarity. I was oblivious to all these things till the 25th over of the South African innings, when finally I decided to see the match to see if my favourite team will be able to achieve the almost impossible task of winning the match??....when I entered the room….i found everyone jumping with joy…..Oh boy!. and why not….Gibbs was playing so well….he was playing like a God…..he reminded me of this headline when Sachin played against Pakistan in the 2003 world cup quarter finals….it said…..”Sachin does a Shiva-Thandava”…..i can sincerely keep my hand on my heart and say…Gibbs was something more than that…..:)…..every ball bowled was being scored…..4’s and 6’s seemed like a child’s play…..even though they were maintaining the run rate at over 9 per over, the required run rate was always over 8 per over. I joined the party and went with the flow…every run scored was being greeted as if it was the winning run….and why not…..how many times can you see a team scoring 245 runs in 25 overs!!!!....:)….

Finally in the 32nd over the party came to a halt when Symonds got Gibbs’s wicket after being smashed for 2 consecutive 6’s….man….that was some moment….he walked like a Gladiator after killing the tiger!...he literally made the whole target seem so possible….i mean after all what was the equation??....136 runs needed in 18 overs….:)….and still there were players who could kick aussies ass..…:)…..but I should say…for the next 8-9 overs I was very much disappointed…no boundaries….even the runs were coming in only singles and some rare 2’s…..the asking rate escalated to 10 per over….i decided to walk out from the room but it was that one shot from….van der Wath which gave some hopes…..and there were 2 overs which went for more than 30 runs…Boucher was playing intelligently…hitting the required runs…and rotating strike…everything seemed possible now…..we just needed 1 good over to change the whole equation in favour of South Africa….then came Lewis….i donno which part of Australia he belongs to…but I shall have great respect for him for my entire life….he literally supplied the turbo power to Proteas….to go close to that winning target….how often can you see a bowler being smashed for 113 runs in 10 overs without any wicket…..:)….after the fall of van der wath came….Roger Telemachus….oh…boy he was good…he did his job and pushed SA closer to victory…..after his fall came Andrew Hall…..that 4 of his in the final over raised hopes further….from 435 to win in 300 balls….the equation had dropped to 7 to win from 6 balls…..this last over will perhaps be the greatest drama you can ask from the THE GREATEST GAME OF CRICKET ever played…..

50th over: 7 runs to win…..6 balls remaining….2 wickets in hand….Boucher is on strike..

1st ball: Boucher hits the ball hard…straight down the ground….but out of nowhere Brett Lee puts his leg to stop the ball….only a single taken. Andrew Hall is on strike….5 balls ……6 runs to win…2 wickets in hand.

2nd ball: Hall strikes the ball for a 4…..everybody is dancing now….SA just 2 runs short of the greatest chase ever.

3rd ball: Hall again tries to hit the ball for fence….but fails to connect it properly…and offers a simple catch…..SA….need 2 runs to win in 3 balls….1 wicket remaining…..Makhaya Ntini comes on strike….everybody knows that he cannot bat at all..

4th ball: I think Zeus was pleased with the greatest effort of all time….and he lets Ntini to nick the ball to the third man…..the scores are tied now…everybody goes berserk… Boucher on strike now…SA need 1 run to win from 2 balls and 1 wicket remaining….

I am sure Boucher must have thought of the similar moment in the semi-final of 1999 world cup….and there was no way he was gonna goof up today and have that tag of “chokers” for eternity.

5th ball: Boucher hits the ball over the mid-field…..for a 4…..he finishes his 50…but more than anything…..gives….SA the greatest victory of all time…..to me it was like….Achilles conquering the shores of Troy….

Finally….SA ended up making 438/9 in 49.5 overs to steal the victory …kicking Aussies ass……I loved that poster that a South African spectators was displaying…..”Proteas are gonna have…Kangaroo for Dinner….”….that was true…..it was a moment that defined everything that shock…happiness…tears….meant. I had lost my voice….perhaps…my use of the word….”*@%$”….’n’ number of times was one reason…..the moment was like that…just couldn’t help it…..it just meant everything for me…..it’s the reason….why Cricket rules!.....it’s the reason why Cricket is a religion….:)……I was reeling under the 438 syndrome……just couldn’t believe anything at that moment…..i can say…..”there comes a moment in our lives which doesn’t need words to describe itself….there comes a moment which we can remember for our eternity….there comes a moment which stands for hope in the darkest of the times…..it’s like watching…a beautiful starlit sky on a clear night….there at that moment you don’t need words to describe how beautiful things are….it’s like…..”…..for me….it’s this moment that I shall never forget……that is what my dear…I call as…..the 438 syndrome…..:)…..

Thursday, March 02, 2006

the ideal 8....

well....i have been tagged by akshaya...to write about my ideal match in 8 points....i am not sure, if i will be able to justify everything that i write...but i shall try to give a honest opinion...;)

1.undoubtedly, she should be a good cook....there's nothing better than you and your girl eating together and that too something that she has made for you....

2.she should be very caring..a teacher when i do something wrong...and be my shadow in every moment of joy and sorrow

3.linguistic, cultural and geographical differences do not bother me....sometimes that's the beauty of life....to be able to co-exist....and i will make a sincere attempt to understand her feelings for everything...but not sure if i will be able to do it.....the mind is so complex!!!....

4.she should know what she's doing...because i sincerely believe that talent in whatever form shouldn't be wasted and every action of yours should define who you really are......as Steve Jobs says...in one of his speech....life is too short....don't spend it living someone else's life.

5.wouldn't mind even marrying a gori from other country....i mean i have seen foreign women who look awesome in salwaar kameez in the streets of bangalore....but just for the record....i defintely have a soft corner for tamil brahmins...;)

6.should have a good taste for classical music....and if she can dance or sing or play veena/violin ...then it's an added advantage.

7.should be patient enough to bear with my unusual long breaks of silence....would be very happy is she doesn't do anything silly to break the ice.....

8. defintely should have some similar interests...esp movies, good food, travelling....and believe that we all exist for a reason...and that reason is going to design and shape our lives and nothing can be perfect in this world.... should consider what's the best in everything...and not find what's wrong with everything.....

now i tag saikat (pyshco)...to carry on this discussion....

Friday, February 17, 2006


Wrong turn...as the name suggests, i am not gonna write about the movie in which the hero takes a wrong turn only to find out that they have to fight with mutated life forms in some remote place of USA.....this wrong turn, is my own personal experience and let me tell you i am happy that i took it...:)

it's been three years since i have come here to Pilani, to study and never in these three years have i gone to a world which is just outside the walls of BITS.....but on 13th feb, 2006.....something happened....something that would give me an oppurtunity what lies on the other side of our life. the Centre for women studies (CWS) in BITS, Pilani in association with One World South Asia, was organising the inaugaration of a project to "empower women through implementation of technology" in a nearby village.....and the village was, Jherli...just outside pilani. it was roughly 4kms aways from the campus and i had no clue how to go there...i mean i have never even set a foot outside the BITS gate. but i was determined and decided to go there no matter what.....so..at 2:30p.m on 13th feb,2006...i was gonna do something that i never had.....and set out to explore the world which was so close, yet it seemed so far all these days.
after few enquiries, i came to know that to reach there, i should not leave the CEERI wall....i mean the road by it's side will lead straight to jherli......i reached there at 3:00p.m....and lemme tell you...this one wasn't so bad...but i was quite surprised to see a village which was so long!...i just went on...on and on....finally i reached the gram panchayat office, only to find that it was locked....after few enuiries i came to know that there was someone from BITS who had come on 12th...but nobody came on 13th but they advised me to go to this guy names...jai singh who was a photographer....and also said that whenever students from BITS come to the village.....they go to his house which was on the other end of the village...when i reached there....i couldn't find any cycles....and then i met some guy who was coming from the oppiste direction of mine.....he told me that he saw a jeep passby...and that it was going to a nearby village..."Garinda" which was another 3 kms away from there.....i would say i was on a wild goose chase! i had no clue of what i was doing....i have no clue how i could to all these places all alone and that too on a sunny day....and i didn't even have water to drink! but something....something unknown kept me going...i could feel the gentle swaying of the " mustard fields"....and the mystic silence of the dried up jungle.....one of the nice things that i found in these villages was their curiousity to see a stranger going around their villages.....probably a guy wearing a red bag, specs and clothes with different shades of brown...wasn't such a common site!...:)
then i went to garinda, where a computer centre was opened in a private school only to find out that i wasn't anywhere close to my destination.....it didn't serve the whole purpose....the reason to start this journey....but what it has given me is the experience that i am not gonna forget for a long time....that cycling in the kacha road and i was wondering the whole time whether my cycle could withstand it....i mean....hello! it's not a tar road where you can just cruise at any speed....what if it got punctured! i would have walked all the way....:)......
to be ccontinued......

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


"Arey yaar....ek chaai dena.." i asked Pappu today in sky lawns when a thought struck me. and after sitting under that huge tree with small leaves falling on me made me think twice.....no, i am not talking about the small leaves falling into my tea cup...or the dog desperately trying to grab my attention for a small piece of the burger which i was munching with so much delight. i was wondering, why the hell am i thinking so much about all these things that have been crossing my mind since the beginning of this semester. This place, BITS has given me so much, but when I sit alone and think what exactly it is….i have no clue of what it was. May be my best gift from this place is to allow me to sit quietly and think whatever I wish to. But one thing I hate about this place is that there is no time here…..but I mean in a positive sense. It feels as if there is magic in this place…time just flies here….i still remember my first day here….i still remember my first class….my first zook….my first crush….my first confession…and the list goes on….. I have made loads of friends here and I am happy that I had spent some quality time with them. I would never forget all those screaming in the wing about VT, Quake…though I never played them…J…all those wonderful movies that we 12 guys saw together in that awesome 2nd year. Enter 3rd year….i don’t know….i mean I don’t understand about all that hype about doing your CDC’s well. May be it’s your identity, it’s like your DNA….and whatever other things that you know or like…are like other cells and organs of your body. But is it really important to prove that your DNA is stronger than others??? Check this out….my first Power Plant engineering class stands out as a perfect example why people think it’s important to do well in third year of your engineering degree. My prof said…”your mechanical engineering degree is like a digit 1…and if you are good at software field…a 0 adds by the side of 1…if you have good communication skills…another 0…if you are good at any extra-curricular activities then another 0…and the list goes on….so unless you know your core things well…the rest of the things are useless….”
Three years have left me enough moments to smile for a lifetime. One day I was out for lunch with Akki and after sometime when we went to pay the bill….i was shocked to see that we were asked to pay almost double the amount…and I asked…”wow….i didn’t know that we had to pay entertainment tax in C’not….:)..” I would never forget all those amazing chat sessions and sky latchas…. Lemme tell you about some bizarre things that I was thinking…...may be this is providence or coincidence….but I guess I believe in the number “7”…I am watching a telugu movie right now…and there are lyrics of a song…which literally translate as “there are seven colours in a rainbow…there are seven seas….and there are seven wonders in Bramha’s creation, there are seven swaras in music….and the seven hills are the abode of lord venkatesha….” After listening to this song….i found that I also belong to the same category…there are seven letters in my first name…!!!.....another thing that I believe in is….the letter “A”…..it’s in everything that I like…my parents names…...me and my bro’s name…..all my friends have this letter…”A” in their names….cinemA, chocolates, chAtting…..almost everything that I like so much.

In another 18 months all this is gonna end….all these that I had so much fun with….all this that was meant to be the best moments of my life are gonna vanish right infront my


eyes and I will not be able to do a god damn thing….these three years have taught me to do what you want to do and not otherwise….be it in anything. So what’s the Cache’??? I might not stand on my feet for sometime and until I find a way in the fog that is so still and dense in the future nothing is going to change. When I came here, I was so completely fascinated by software…and all the booming computer technology that India seems to be rejoicing and feeling proud that we have the best services in the world. But then, just 2 courses taught me what it takes to be able to stand in this arena….and I swore that I am not gonna touch it again. But going by the normal trend of campus recruitment…since everybody is gonna pick up guys with stronger, faster, healthier DNA….people like me are gonna pick up the rag pieces left by the so called “superiors”. Lemme just for a moment think that I am working in one such thing…(I pray sincerely that a day like that should never come)….and I wonder is this what you had dreamed of in those 4 years??...is this what you were meant to be?.....and not long after that one single thought I resist…..i resist that I cannot choke no longer in that so called “paradise” where the majority of the educated class is so dying to get into…just because it’s in one of the top most companies in the country and their CEO’s can have lunch with Bill Gates..or hire people like Vivek Paul….or have a reputation of offering some of the best training programs in the world in the first 1 year of joining the company. Not that it would matter for them….i think people rarely get ideas that change the world…..history has plenty of proof to support my thought….the plight of indigo farmers changed something in one simple lawyer and he shook the pillars of the mighty British empire…..now don’t get me wrong…..i have no intention….not even in the slightest possibility of my dream to be a “half naked Fakir”….
People wonder why should someone think so much and why can’t he do what he is supposed to do at the moment…but I fear…that it will change my life….it will change me. I donno what’s written in my pages of future….and I don’t have the fascination to know what would be there and make grand plans for it….time is a strange thing…..it runs faster than you can….though some scientist might prove me wrong that it’s not time…but something other than that!!! Yeah…where was I??....time is a strange thing….oh yeah, it is….it will never stop…it will not stop to see how a drop of rain falls from sky to the ground…..it will not stop to see how happy you are when you are talking to a friend whom you are going to miss desperately in a few days…L….i will tell you my dear fellow….i wish the time would stop when you are in some temple in south India and there’s a beautiful tamil bramhin ponnu…J….lighting a small lamp….that’s probably one of the most beautiful thing…J ….ahhhh…..i wish I was a Iyer …or Iyengar….i wouldn’t have to think so much about this thing then….:)…
I wish time stops for sometime….when I lie down and look into the sky and see a shooting star….i wanna make a wish….what it is….only the same goddamn time is gonna tell me…I guess my story which is the next post in this blog….”LIFE WITHOUT A”….tells more than just words of what I feel…I guess I have confessed more than enough in these words…time is running faster than me….(mom always says…I am fat..:)…)….whatever!....i don’t wanna miss my chocolates….movies….chatting….friends
And may be I even dedicate this to my “non-existent” girlfriends along with the above mentioned things….i don’t wanna miss my chai sessions in Sky lawns…I don’t wanna miss…..life……I don’t wanna miss……

Friday, February 03, 2006

LIFE WITHOUT A......part-1

I guess i am writing something on my blog after a long time...but the journey so far has been worth it....and after a long time i have written something that i feel nice about and can tell my friends that i have written something...do read it...and your response would mean a lot to me....so here it is ....my 4th story....i hope you will all like this one.....


“Come on move….move”, shrieked the doctor to the curious onlookers in the hospital ward. I was there at that moment wondering whether all this had to have an end like this….
“Jesus Christ! What happened?” asked an old man standing next to me. Should I tell him the truth? This was the only question lingering in my mind. Should I tell him that I let all this happen right in front of my very eyes? And I could do nothing. Nothing…..

“We will do our best, but I cannot promise you anything”, said the doc and I could tell from the very look on his face that things had gone out of hand and now everything was left to the Almighty. I sat in a corner counting every minute with my hope fainting like the sun going down into the ocean. I had so many questions in my mind and every time I try to find answers for what had happened, more questions pop up in my mind. And I closed my eyes…..
“Dad, look here what I have made for my school project…” I should tell you, my eight year old daughter was quite a gem at school. She was naughty, always getting into some kind of trouble and we had received several complaints from her teachers, but what the heck! She was my daughter and I loved her so much. That’s why I had named her Amogha and she would never cease to surprise me. I was a happy man, I should say. It was early in the spring season and flowers had just begun to blossom all over. And I had the whole day to spend the time with my family. “Dad, come here!” She was so stubborn. I went there to her room and she had made a beautiful model of a volcanic mountain to explain how it erupts. I exclaimed that it was wonderful and took her downstairs to show her the little surprise gift that I had got for her.
“A goldfish! Wow…look at it, it’s so cute.” She was so happy to see the little goldfish. We all had our lunch and I promised my little angel that I will take her for a walk. O’ boy! She loved to go out on long walks with me. She wouldn’t stop telling me about her school and friends. And I was very patient too, never shouted at her. That evening even my wife accompanied us to go out for a walk. We all went to the park and after a while sat on a bench. “Ice creams, anyone?” I asked. “Me”, said my daughter. “No beta…no ice creams in this season. You might catch cold.” Her mother warned her. But it was a mandatory thing to have for me and Amogha. Some habits never die! I somehow convinced my wife and went to the vendor to get them.
“Everybody get down….there is a prisoner on the run and he has entered the park” shouted a policeman at a bunch of people who had come to spend some time in the park. And there was panic all over. People started running helter-skelter. I think the police spotted the prisoner and began to shoot in his direction. “No!!….Amogha get down” I shouted at the top of my voice. But in that hullabaloo, she couldn’t hear a thing of what I was so desperately trying to tell her. I was just a few meters away from her and was running towards her as fast as I could. And then, she just dropped down. Just like that! She had come in the line of fire and before she knew what was happening she just….i looked around for my wife and she lay just a few meters away. I think she too….”NO!!”……I shouted….

LIFE WITHOUT A......part-2

“No!!” I opened my eyes and found myself in the hospital. “What happened?” “Nothing... Just a bad dream...”
“Doctor, what happened?” his silence said more than his words could. And there she was. My beautiful wife lay peacefully on the stretcher. “Mr. Ajay, we did what we could. But it was not enough. We couldn’t help it. And your daughter, well she’s in a bad shape too. She’s taking rest now. You can talk to her after she wakes up.” The doctor placed his hand on my shoulder and said,” I am sorry. She doesn’t have much time. Maybe few hours.” And he walked away leaving me in a bewildered state. I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t cry. I told myself not to cry because all my life I was taught that boys don’t cry! But it really is a natural thing to cry when you lose something that you love so much.
I prayed all night and hoping that the angels of death could give her a little more time than what’s destined for her. She didn’t deserve all this. For God’s sake, she was only eight years old! But ….the damn time never stops.
“Sir, sir. Are you Ajay? Your daughter….”she could barely finish what she wanted to say and I ran to the ward where my little daughter was sleeping last night hoping that my prayers would be answered. It was quite a relief to see her lying on that bed. Breathing. ...

“Dad, where am I? And what is this place? We were supposed to be in the park.” She talked as if she didn’t know what had happened. “What are all these pipes going through my hands? And why are you crying?” She always had so many questions to ask. I sat beside her and looked into her eyes. I could see the innocence in her eyes, wondering why I was crying so much and filled with questions. “Dad, where’s mom?” I didn’t know what to tell her. And I lied. “She’s waiting for you, outside this room. She couldn’t bear the sight of you lying on the bed like this. Though I forced her to come here, she didn’t listen to any of my words. She’s….gone.” Amogha couldn’t understand what I was trying to tell her. She asked,” Gone…but where?”. “She was in a hurry. Somebody was waiting for her and she couldn’t wait until you wake up. She’s….gone…she’s gone.” I couldn’t control my emotion and burst into tears. I knew that what I had lost and what I would be losing would leave only one thing for me. Loneliness…..
“She’s gone!! Tell mom that I am very angry with her. And I will not talk to her.” I think my angel was afraid and wanted her mother to be beside her. I was running out of time and suddenly was lost in thought…..
Once she got herself drenched in rain and her mom was all hot upon her. They didn’t talk to each other for quite sometime. Then my angel came to me and said,” dad, do you know why it rains?” and I said,” No, I don’t”. “It’s because the Rain God cries when his mother doesn’t talk to him.” And she smiled. Her smile was so infectious that we all started smiling too. Another time she was eating an ice-cream and by the time she finished it, the cream was all over her face. She didn’t know what to do and came and hugged me and I had a huge patch of chocolate ice-cream’s stain on my shirt. Hehehe…she really was quite gem of a person.“Dad….dad, where were you?? I have been shouting for so long” I was interrupted from my thoughts by her sweet voice. “Dad, I was wondering what will happen to our goldfish? Won’t it feel unhappy that I am not playing with it?” “Yes, my child. It will perhaps be very lonely now…..like me” I mumbled the last two words. “But I promise you that I will take full care of it.” “You are the best, dad. Ok, I am feeling very sleepy. But when I wake up I want to see my little cute friend, “goldie” here.” “Who’s goldie?” I

LIFE WITHOUT A......part-3

asked her. “I just named our goldfish, goldie” and she smiled. I wondered if these were the last few things she would ever ask me for. And as soon as she slept, I ran to the house and put goldie in a cover with some water and came to the ward. I think it had taken me roughly thirty minutes to come back. And then…..
There was a small crowd of nurses and doctors outside that ward who were hurrying in and out. Somebody shouted,” She’s not breathing…she’s not breathing. Give her this injection. And put that oxygen mask on her face, for Christ’s sake.” “God…not working…not working.” And there was a long beep…..
After sometime everybody went out and I had to go inside the room. I had brought her “goldie”. She had asked for it...didn’t she? She cannot possibly go to a deep sleep. There must be some way to wake her up….there has to be some way….. I went close to her ear and whispered. “ Hey Amogha….wake up. Look goldie is here to say hello to you.” I knew that they couldn’t talk to each other. I knew she had left me alone. I knew that she had gone close to her mother. I knew that there will not be anymore walks and ice-creams. But….but I was her father…and if I had a choice, I would have chose not to believe the whole thing that had just happened. Choice, huh…it’s something that you always hope for and every time you choose something you ask yourself, was that the right thing to do? Then why have a choice at all!!!
Well, I believe that everything has got a destiny of its own. And a man does what he does until destiny finds him. I had lost my most beloved ones on the planet and people ask me how it feels like? Well, I would say look into my eyes and you will know. Look into my eyes and they will tell you what’s missing in my life. Look into my eyes and I tell you, you will forget that you had asked a question like that at all. Life wasn’t pretty much the same after they left me alone. They say it’s still the same sun and same moon. It’s still the same air and it’s still the same….blah…blah. But I ask you, is it worth it? Is it worth it when you choose to not feel anything for all these gifts that nature has for us?

Now, all that’s left for me are few photographs and loads of thoughts and images from the past. It’s so difficult to understand why you love someone so much. That morning in the hospital with my daughter had taught me something. What it is…..I still have to find out. Life passes most people by, while they are making grand plans for it. Now I force a smile on my face and try to believe that my angel is still with me. I go on long walks now….alone. I still eat my ice-creams and play with goldie. Once I had made a promise that I wouldn’t leave goldie unhappy and I couldn’t break it. You see, we still are one happy family. It’s just that I don’t see them often around. They are still there….they are still there. But…yes there’s always a but….I am living a life without A…..reason. I am living a life without A……