Friday, May 06, 2005

THE SILENCE OF HEARTS----part-2

After she went, I started thinking about the world around me. Twenty years down the lane I will be unable to walk or even talk. And there would be no one to take care of me. And what happens after that? One fine morning I will be gone and there will be none to dig a grave for me. That was my biggest fear and the rest looked very small.

It was noon now and time to go back home. Anna was not at home, she had gone for a trip with her friends. I cooked few things and sat on my table to check few papers and I had to prepare the rest of the schedule for the coming week. I switched on the T.V and there was an interview of a celebrity. This reminded me of something that happened few years back. I was giving a presentation about “Conflict in families” and an excited student asked “Do you love your daughter?”
The question had come out of the blue and I didn’t what to say.
“Yes. I do. Why do you ask me that?”
“Do you love your daughter more than your wife?”
What could I say? I couldn’t answer this question. I could never compare my love for someone with another person’s for the same.

“Ding…dong…ding…dong”

I walked to the door to see who it was.

“Hello uncle…ohhh…it’s you. Remember we met the other day in the park it’s me Pooja. I just moved to the apartment next to yours. I was wondering if I could get a cup of milk?” she said with a huge smile on her face.

“Oh yeah..Pooja…I remember you. Come in…make yourselves comfortable”

“Ok...” and she stepped in…inside my lonely world.

“Here’s your cup….do u want anything else?”

“Uncle….”.

“You can call me Uncle James…”

“Uncle James, I think you should have more light in this drawing room. It looks gloomy. I am sorry…if I should have said this or not, but I thought it would do some good.”

“Maybe you are right. There’s rarely anyone to take care of this house now…” and I was crying deep down my heart. I was all the while in the feeling that my wife was alive and she would take care of everything. She was alive…everywhere …around the house, in the kitchen….in the garden…everywhere around me…deep inside my heart.

“Maybe I will come later and do some changes here. It would make the place look better” said Pooja. “Bye Uncle James….I should go now, there are lot of people who are waiting for me in my apartment. I will see you soon...”

“Bye Pooja.”

There was something special about this girl. She was almost half my age, but never treated me as an old man. I blessed her silently; and I had developed a belief that may be she’s the one whom god had sent to take care of me. The hope never fades away. You know what the best thing about hope…..is? If you think that hope is fading away, you can still hope that there’s some hope.
And days like these passed by and she kept coming. We were good friends now and I told her everything about my wife, Anna and me. I should say in more than 5 years, she was the first person who didn’t show sympathy but applauded me for my courage. She would say,” Uncle James, the problems are plenty but the truth is you are still standing.”
I was standing…wasn’t I??? Standing against all trouble…odds…standing with hope and courage as my pals. I was fighting for my existence; I was fighting for my rights…right to live. Above all I was fighting to express my love.

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