The Others-2

Days passed by and things changed a lot. I was missing a lot of things…missed how I used to smile sometimes….missed how people used to talk to me once. Then one day, a thought struck me, maybe I should change. I should change because if I don’t then no one would recognize me anymore. I would be just a memory of the past which has no meaning…at most maybe a good thing to have happened in someone’s past. But then I wondered what should I change to make myself different? Is it my clothes, the way I talk, the way I behave?? Or is it the way I see things??...

I wish I could be a super hero, who could solve every problem in a jiffy…I wish I could be a versatile genius whose talent would make others jealous!!!...but I was neither of what I wanted to be.

One day, I was sitting by the side of Raja and then some more of his friends joined us. We started talking about so many things, but I chose to be a silent spectator. I wondered at the depth of knowledge they had on various things, to be honest it literally made me feel small in front of them. I wondered how someone could be so intelligent. I tried to add in a point or two, but it didn’t make a difference….or should I say, it wasn’t the point, but I didn’t make a difference in the conversation…hehehe… I was there all the time, but no one would pay attention to me…no one would see me…no one would listen to me… that was the day I was a ghost!!!

Ghosts…ghosts…they are everywhere. Just that the ghosts don’t say or realize that they are ghosts. Everyone lives under the pretension that everything is going alright. There’s no need to any change. But then is it the case??? Or am I asking the wrong question?

Raja was good at singing. Infact that was the thing that brought us together. I would say I was his first admirer. And ever since he started practicing professionally, I was his best supporter, always there for him and admiring him for everything he was doing. I wished I had a voice like that…and one day the dream came true...not mine, but his. He sang infront of a huge audience; it was our college cultural fest. And I saw his face that day…his eyes filled with pride of achieving a dream…a dream which was burning in both our hearts…to be recognized….and he piped me on this one…he piped me. Anyway I was happy that he became a celebrity of some kind in college and that I was his best friend. Actually people just know me as the chap who hangs out with Raja most of the time…nothing more, nothing less…isn’t that good enough, I asked myself? And I know there’s an answer. Just that, I have to search for it under this pile of bizarre thoughts which always seem to lead me to a new conclusion…one that is most of the times not expected.

Things went on like this for quite sometime and then something happened that day…something which I hadn’t anticipated. I woke up with this feeling of being incomplete. Not that it was a bad dream that morning….the problem was it was an incomplete one. Hehehe…I was this firm believer of the concept that dreams early in the morning always come true. I kept on thinking about that…I couldn’t recollect anything. But I didn’t give up; I kept on thinking about it for quite a while. Finally, I gave up.

But wait...there was still one last hope. I remembered the promise I had made God that I would ask for that one thing which was missing in my prayers. I knew this was the one thing I wanted to ask Him. I closed my eyes and praying God. I…I…

I saw Him…in my prayers.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“Well, you just called me. How can I help you my son?”

“I…I…saw this strange dream my dear God. I don’t know what that was. I have never felt this way, but somehow I feel that the most important thing for me is to know what my dream was. Do you know what it was?”

“Hehehe…my son; it’s your dream. How can I see it?”

“But…but you are God. You know everything.”

“I know everything…because you believe I know everything. It can be the other way too.”

“No…no…that can never be the case. You like to play around, don’t you? But, I seriously want to know what my dream was.”

“Well…well, let us see what your dream is…you were walking on the road and someone stabbed you from the back.”

“No…No…I am pretty sure that’s not the dream.”

“You were falling down from the top of a building?”

“No…”

“Then what is it?” He asked

“That is what I am asking you…that’s what I came here for. Ah…yes, I remember something vaguely; I was in this party…everyone was laughing and having a good time. I turned my head and found more people came inside the room. Suddenly my voice wasn’t clear any longer…the people around me were talking to me, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I suddenly felt everything was going blind infront of me…and I started running hither-thither till I turned into the direction where I saw the door…then I…I don’t know what happened after that. What happened after that, dear God?”

“Well…I don’t know. I didn’t have the permission to see your dream. You didn’t let me see it completely. You opened your eyes…why did you do that? “

“I don’t know…I really don’t know. I tried to look closely at the surroundings, it was something that I had never seen, I didn’t know anyone around. The only person whom I could recognize in my dream was me…”

“How do you know it was you?”

“It was me…I saw him.”

“It was just a dream…wasn’t it?”

“Yup…it was just a dream. But, it was me.”

“So…now you wanna know what happened to you in your dream.”

“Yes…Yes…I want to know what happened to me.”

“You, want to know what you did after that? Well…you got up and closed your eyes and started praying God to help you.”

“But, that’s what I am doing now….”

“Exactly…that’s my point.”

“I didn’t understand you…”

“Hehehe…the day you understand what I said, you won’t ask me that question.”

“So…should I wait for that day?”

“I don’t know…but I will be waiting for an answer….”

I opened my eyes…and looked around. I walked into the crowd which was oblivious of my presence; actually I was just another face they would come across. But that’s not a reason good enough to remember me. Isn’t it? I have to do something that would break the anomaly in their lives…otherwise I am just another person. There in the crowd, I think I saw the same face…the face of Naidu from the movie the other day. I couldn’t understand why. I wanted to see if it was for real and that I wasn’t dreaming. But the face just escaped into the crowd.